How Guided Imagery Can Improve Your Sex Life

When it comes to enhancing your sex life, most people think about communication, hormones, or maybe even positions. But what if a powerful and underutilized mental tool could help you reconnect with your body, enhance arousal, and reduce performance anxiety? That’s where guided imagery comes in.

As trusted relationship and sex therapists, we often integrate guided imagery into treatment plans to help individuals and couples strengthen intimacy, feel more confident in their bodies, and safely explore desire. Whether you're experiencing low libido, sexual trauma, or disconnection from your partner, guided imagery can be a powerful pathway to healing and pleasure.

What Is Guided Imagery?

Guided imagery is a mind-body technique that uses mental visualization to promote physical, emotional, and psychological well-being. Typically practiced with a therapist or through self-guided exercises, this method involves imagining scenarios designed to elicit calm, pleasure, or healing.

In sex therapy, guided imagery focuses on cultivating arousal, reducing anxiety, healing from past trauma, and deepening emotional connection. By tapping into the imagination, people can safely explore their sensuality and rewire unhelpful thoughts about intimacy.

The Science Behind Guided Imagery and Sexual Wellbeing

Guided imagery is not just creative daydreaming—it’s backed by science. Neuroimaging studies show that the brain responds to imagined experiences in ways similar to real ones. When used regularly, guided imagery activates neural pathways related to relaxation, pleasure, and even motor function, making it a powerful tool for addressing sexual issues. A systematic review of the literature suggests mindfulness-based interventions can improve sexual desire and arousal in women with low libido.

A 2023 study found that guided imagery interventions significantly reduced anxiety symptoms and improved the quality of life in patients with anxiety disorders. This suggests that guided imagery can be an effective tool for managing anxiety, which is often linked to sexual dysfunction.

How Guided Imagery Can Help Your Sex Life

Reduces Performance Anxiety

Performance anxiety can affect people of all genders and orientations. Whether you're concerned about reaching orgasm, maintaining an erection, or meeting a partner’s expectations, anxiety disrupts the natural rhythm of intimacy.

Guided imagery promotes relaxation and self-trust by allowing the brain to "practice" scenarios in a safe, low-pressure environment. Visualization exercises that focus on confidence, touch, and pleasure can help desensitize the nervous system and break the cycle of fear.

A 2024 study in the Journal of Education and Health Promotion demonstrated that music-guided imagery can improve sexual dysfunction for women. The intervention led to enhanced desire, arousal, and orgasm, indicating that guided imagery can effectively reduce performance anxiety and improve sexual functioning.

Builds Body Confidence

Many individuals struggle with body image issues that interfere with sexual satisfaction. Negative self-perception can lead to avoidance, self-consciousness, or disconnection during intimate moments.

Guided imagery can challenge those beliefs. By visualizing your body as strong, sensual, and worthy of pleasure, you begin to shift your inner dialogue.

A 2023 pilot study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that a virtual, group-based mindfulness intervention for midlife and older women with low libido led to significant reductions in sexual distress. While the study focused on mindfulness, it highlights the importance of mental practices in enhancing sexual well-being, which can be complemented by guided imagery techniques.

Reconnects You to Desire

Life stressors, medical issues, parenting, and relational tension can all dull desire. When arousal feels out of reach, guided imagery offers a way to reconnect with what turns you on without pressure or expectation.

Imagining sensual experiences that evoke warmth, curiosity, or eroticism can reignite the internal spark many clients report losing over time. In fact, guided imagery is one of the most empowering tools we offer in sex therapy when clients seek support for low libido or desire discrepancy in their relationships.

Research suggests that using sexual imagery strategies with a long-term partner may increase desire and infatuation. This indicates that guided sexual imagery can be a helpful strategy for couples to enhance their sexual connection and desire.

Heals Sexual Trauma

Survivors of sexual trauma may struggle with dissociation, fear, or discomfort during intimacy. Guided imagery creates a safe internal space where individuals can explore sensations and touch on their own terms, with full control over the experience.

Through consistent practice, guided imagery can help build new neural associations between sex and safety, reclaiming pleasure as a choice rather than a threat. While more research is needed, guided imagery has shown to be helpful for many health conditions including stress, fatigue, chronic illness, depression and anxiety.

Improves Emotional and Erotic Connection

Couples can also benefit from guided imagery, whether practicing it together or individually. Visualizing emotional closeness, intimacy rituals, or even shared fantasies can reignite erotic energy and deepen connection.

Mindfulness-based therapy practices, including guided imagery, can significantly enhance sexual experiences by helping individuals stay present and focused during sexual activity. Techniques like using positive mental images can influence individuals’ emotional experience, enhance self-awareness, and improve sexual arousal and desire. Accessing imagination and fantasy through guided imagery may increase pleasure and promote positive attitudes about sex.

In sex therapy sessions, we encourage partners to use imagery as a bridge to more open conversations about desire, boundaries, and pleasure. Even just five minutes a day can shift the emotional tone in a relationship.

How to Practice Guided Imagery at Home

Exploring guided imagery doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, practicing at home can enhance your results when combined with therapy or serve as a great standalone practice.

Here’s how to begin:

Step-by-Step: Solo Guided Imagery for Sensual Connection

• Set the Space. Choose a quiet, comfortable environment where you won’t be interrupted. Use soft lighting or calming music if it helps.

• Focus on Breath. Sit or lie down, close your eyes, and take a few deep, slow breaths. Let your body settle.

• Create Your Scene. Picture yourself in a place that feels sensual, safe, and peaceful—a beach at sunset, a luxurious bath, a soft bed.

• Engage Your Senses. What do you see, hear, smell, feel? Imagine your body relaxed, warm, and open to sensation.

• Add Gentle Touch (Optional). Lightly touch your arm, neck, or chest in a way that feels comforting or arousing. Breathe into the sensation.

• Invite Desire. Think of an erotic or intimate scenario that brings pleasure. Let it unfold slowly. You’re not performing—you’re exploring.

• Return Gently. When you're ready, slowly bring yourself back to the present. Reflect on what you felt and learned.

Practice this a few times per week to start building new pathways between your imagination, body, and arousal response.

Guided Imagery Apps and Tools

If you prefer structured guidance, several apps and recordings can support your practice:

• Insight Timer – Free meditations, including sensual and body-based imagery

• Sexual Mindfulness by Dr. Lori Brotto – Evidence-based resources for sexual healing

• Calm – Though not specifically erotic, many sessions focus on embodiment and self-connection

• Headspace — Free guided meditations and techniques

These tools can help you establish a regular practice and deepen your connection to your body and desires.

Ready to Explore Guided Imagery in Therapy?

Guided imagery is just one of the many tools available to help you live a fuller, more connected sex life. Whether you’re facing challenges around desire, trauma, or relationship dynamics, working with a trained sex therapist can make a profound difference.

7 Mindfulness Basics to Bring Into Your Intimate Relationships

The practice of mindfulness is rooted in Buddhist teachings, as well as recognized in other indigenous and Eastern traditions. Applied to our busy lives, practicing Mindfulness means we are able to dwell in a state of noticing and acceptance with compassion before acting or reacting. Jon-Kabat Zinn, who has been researching mindfulness through meditation since the 1970s, explains how Mindfulness practices can get us out of a Me-focused state of mind by cultivating an “awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally.”  Mindfulness practices literally change the way electrical energy in the brain fires! Over time and with practice, Mindfulness practice can improve focus, self-awareness, memory, compassion, immune function, anxiety and depression. 

How does Mindfulness Apply to Intimate Relationships?

Health and wellness is a relational issue, and relationships have a significant impact on our health and wellness. It’s no surprise then that research is mounting in recent years in support of relationship mindfulness. Mindfulness has been studied as a way to increase overall health, increase empathy, improve sexual intimacy, reduce conflict, and even regulate cortisol levels among couples. Relationship mindfulness can help couples reign in conflict before getting out of control, decrease anxiety that comes with sexual intimacy, and help partners implement the common desire for more intention in their relationships.

If you’ve been in relationship with anyone for any significant amount of time - including family, friendships, and lovers - you might know what it is like to get to a place where action and reaction becomes the go-to response in conflict, or even the busy day-to-day routines. If you have been feeling un-noticed, un-seen, disconnected and misunderstood (or if your partner has expressed these feelings), relationship mindfulness may be the refresh you and your partners need.

7 Relationship Mindfulness Basics

Relationship mindfulness can be a formal activity, like taking a yoga or meditation class together. It can also be sprinkled into any informal activity you do with partners. Whenever you want to apply Mindfulness to relationships, there are a few things to keep in mind and activity suggestions to help you practice with intention and, hopefully, JOY!

1. Practice relationship mindfulness with specific intention

Practice makes perfect and Mindfulness takes practice! Use the suggested activities below and keep your Mindfulness Practice sacred by leaving out high-conflict issues. Hopefully, you quickly get to a place where those issues can be mindfully addressed, but make your beginner practice time enjoyable and nourishing of your relationship. We suggest putting unresolvable topics that may come up during practice into the “parking lot”, which may be a notebook or phone notes that you bring with you to a therapy session at Embrace Sexual Wellness.

2. Pay attention with all of your senses

Notice what comes up for you in your thoughts or your body during relationship mindfulness practice. Pay attention to the body language and tone of your partner. Notice what feels good and say it out loud, or simply describe what you sense about your environment. Maybe any one small statement can become an exploration together. For example, you might take a bite and say “This bite tasted sweet,” and end up deconstructing flavors with your partners, talking about the best desserts you’ve ever had, and planning your next adventure to the new cupcake shop in your town! 

Not everything we notice feels good. See if you can sit with discomfort when it arises, and share it with your partner if that feels safe. If conflict arises that feels too big, put it in the parking lot, take a small break, and refocus your attention on what you see, smell, taste, hear, and feel. Prioritize your comfort and that of your partner during this activity.

3. Be curious, not judgy

Share and listen to the observations that you and your partner are sensing without judgement. Try to see your experiences and thoughts through a lens of curiosity, like you might do with a stranger who is not familiar with anything in your world. Investigate your partners’ observations with care and compassion. When self-criticisms arise, recognize that they are a part of a complex construct of messaging you have been receiving for a very long time, and then with acceptance and compassion, be curious even for yourself. In these moments with your partner, you are not your body, or your mind. You are in a relationship that deserves kindness and nourishment. Be forgiving if your intentional relationship mindfulness practice is disrupted by conflict. It is normal and perfectly fine to rest and try again another time.

4. Be present in the journey, not the destination

Have you ever said, “I don’t need you to solve my problem! I just want to vent.”? Release the burden of solving problems and ask your partner questions that help them further explore. If you find your partner trying to solve your problems, you can express gratitude for their concern, or use it as a point of curiosity to find out more about them! (i.e. “that’s an interesting idea, what made you think of it?”).

5. Slow down and breathe between thoughts

Before you answer a question, take a breath. If your partner is pausing, give them all the time they need to form thoughts. Silence is a perfect alternative to talking. We all process differently and some of us need time to think through or we begin to feel anxious and say things that are inauthentic. Be confident in your partner’s ability to be accountable for their own communication when given the space to do so, and in the meantime, breathe and notice what is going on in your own body.

6. Connect with your partner physically

Brittany Jakubiek, author of several studies on touch during couple conflict says that “touching reminds couples that they are on the same team.” Jakubiek found that touch reduces stress and conflict behaviors between couples. Although this is not specifically mindfulness practice, consensual touching is a valid method of communication between partners.

7. Plan a low conflict activity

Not every activity on our list will feel like the right fit for you with your partner, and there are infinite ways to create a mindful experience together. Depending on where you are at in your partnership, discuss what feels safe and enjoyable for both of you. Start small and time-limited if you are often in high conflict, and work with a therapist to navigate parking lot issues.

• Share a meal at a new place. Talk about the flavors, texture, and presentation of the food. Notice the aromas, colors, and atmosphere of the environment. People watch, describing body language and co-creating stories of the people you see.

• Take a bath together. Discuss boundaries ahead of time regarding sexual intimacy. Focus on the sensations of water, and use bath oils or bath bombs to add sensation.

• Walk with each other. Walking is proven to reduce anxiety, and walking outdoors has been shown to increase the meditative state. High-conflict couples may benefit from just walking without discussion as a way to share space. Couples could also use walking to hold more challenging conversations, paying attention to anxious feelings in the body and walking through the discomfort before reacting to it.

• Spoon-Breathing. Even as infants laying on our caretakers’ chests, our physiological systems respond to the rhythm of another person’s heartbeat and breath with synchronicity. In early days of dating, many couples find themselves laying side-by-side and co-regulating their breath. Spooning, foreheads touching, or laying back-to-back, relax enough to sync-up your breath for as long as it’s comfortable, feeling your partner’s body and energy alongside yours.

• Sensation play (sexual and non-sexual). Using props with different textures (think feathers, chains, ice, hot wax, fingertips, etc.) ask your partner for consent to touch where it feels pleasurable and safe. Pay attention to their reactions, ask exploratory questions, and check-in with how they are feeling. When it’s your turn to be touched, focus on the sensation of touch and communicate for more or less as desired. Negotiate clothing, sexual intention, and off-limit areas of the body before beginning play. This activity does not imply sexual intimacy and should be consensual the entire time.

Consider these mindfulness tips to help you generate more presence in your intimate relationships! If you need additional support in getting started, Embrace Sexual Wellness can help!

The Mindfulness and Pleasure Connection

Have you ever found yourself running on autopilot? Waking up and going through the motions, each day without really thinking about the task at hand. If this sounds like you, don’t be alarmed, almost half of the population is “mentally checked out”. We all have the potential to be more present in the moment, the hard part is remembering to do it.

Maybe you have heard of mindfulness but never understood exactly what it meant or how to even be mindful, and that's okay. Mindfulness has been in practice for centuries and was originally a Buddhist concept brought to the Western mainstream by Jon Kabat-Zinn. In his book, Meditation Is Not What You Think: Mindfulness and Why It Is So Important, Kabat-Zinn states that we can no longer ignore the new possibilities that emerge out of our yearnings when we are true to ourselves. This cultivation of mindfulness can contribute to our lives in so many ways including our health and sexual wellbeing. Researcher Lori Brotto defines mindfulness as “present moment nonjudgmental awareness”, and participating in the moment versus being a spectator judging your performance. 

Judgment of your body can contribute to sexual dysfunction and dissatisfaction. By incorporating a daily mindfulness practice into your routine you can begin to calm the chatter in your mind. According to the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, being mindful may contribute to sexual wellness by allowing for intentional behavior, emtoional regulation, reduction in anxiety, and an increase in self esteem. Performance anxiety can affect people of all genders throughout their lifespan. When being intimate with yourself or a partner(s), thinking about your body in a negative way can be a real mood killer. For penis-having individuals the inability to be present can cause erectile dysfunction. By being a spectator in erotic situations you can diminish your ability to maintain an erection. Spectatoring refers to shifting your focus from the present moment, and evaluating yourself and sexual activity in a third person perspective. Focusing your attention on sexual performance instead of the present sensory experience can interfere with your sexual functioning and lead to erectile dysfunction. 

When you instead focus your thoughts on the here and now, your primary attention is on your body and physical sensations and pleasure. The muscles that surround the penis need to relax in order for dilation of the arteries to occur, which promotes an erection. By being mindful during sex you can alleviate “cognitive interference,” which is associated with a decrease in anxiety related to sex. Attending to physical sensations can enhance your sexual and romantic relationship. 

For individuals with vulvas, mindfulness has been shown to decrease genital pain and sexual distress and bridge the mind-body disconnect. When the central nervous system is disregulated by stress, central sensitization, and hormonal changes in the neuroendocrine system, this can cause the vulvar skin to change increasing sensitivity to pain. According to Brotto, interest and motivation for sex can all be impacted by negative body image, sense of self, comfort in partnership, and violation to your sense of safety. By practicing mindfulness, participants in Brotto’s study reported an increase in “sexual function, including desire, arousal, orgasm,” and overall psychological well being. Through increasing attention to the here and now, it may be possible to redirect any negative thoughts or judgments that may arise when in an intimate situation.

Regardless of your gender identity or relationship status, mindfulness can benefit your sexual wellbeing. We encourage you to experiment with different modalities of mindfulness. One of our favorite partnered mindfulness practices is sensate focus. This activity encourages you to actively focus on and communicate with your partner(s) about the sensation you are experiencing. By being fully present with your partner free from judgment, you can dive deeper into a state of erotic pleasure. Mindfulness is also something that you can practice on your own, by simply paying attention to your breath and any thoughts that may arise. There are a variety of apps available that can help guide you through this process. We are linking our favorites below:

• Headspace - Great for the whole family with hundreds of meditations to choose from

• Calm - Focus in on what you want to meditate on with guided sessions between 3-25 minutes  

• Insight Timer - Chart your progress and earn badges on your mindfulness journey

• Aura - Personalized meditations based on your mood

• Sattva - Drawing its meditations from ancient Vedic principles, this app is perfect for anyone looking to get more in touch with the origin of mediation

• Buddhify - Perfect for those on the go (meditations for travel, dining, and more)

• Simple Habit - Traditional guided meditation mixed with coaching

Breathing techniques are something you can do anywhere and at any time. By mindfully slowing the breath we engage the parasympathetic nervous system, which signals to our body it is time to calm down. Next time you are getting intimate with yourself or your partner(s) try taking a few minutes to intentionally slow your breath and practice mindfulness.