The Future of Sex Tech: How Innovation is Shaping Intimacy, Relationships, and Sexual Health

The Intersection of Technology and Intimacy

Fields like sexual health and technology are advancing and growing rapidly. New innovations and research are expanding what we know and how we operate in both of these areas. The use of technology in sexual health is also evolving with new discoveries and understanding. As sex therapists, it is important to stay informed on how changes in technology can enhance and complicate sexual health and intimacy. It is important to explore how these new innovations change how we may address and navigate many of the concerns we see while understanding the possible concerns these new technologies may pose. 

What Is Sex Tech?

Sex tech is a broad term used to describe a variety of innovative technologies that aim to address and improve sexual health, wellness, pleasure, and education. This could be anything from vibrators or apps, to sex robots, virtual reality, and even AI. Many of these examples are being developed and researched currently. Some have been around for a lot longer and are constantly being updated. These advancements will likely be ever-changing, and as new research emerges, our understanding of both the benefits and risks will grow. While it may be hard to have a full picture right now, let’s take a look at what we do know and what may be possible in the future, while addressing both the benefits and risks of these new technologies. 

The Science Behind Sex Tech: Bridging Innovation and Sexual Health

Technology plays a large role in the world of therapy currently. During COVID-19, there was a rise in teletherapy platforms due to social distancing requirements. While this was an adjustment for many, it presented a lot of wonderful benefits to the field. Therapy is now more accessible to people in areas where therapy is not easily found or transportation may be a challenge. It is now much easier to find a therapist without worrying about commutes or if they are in your city! Couples therapy may also be easier for couples who have different schedules or short windows of time together that may have been impacted by travel time. If a therapist is licensed in multiple states, it also makes it easier for long-distance couples. 

Some sex therapists, including the Embrace Sexual Wellness team, are beginning to implement various sex tech tools to help with education or exploring sexual health. With access to various resources, therapists may provide educational videos, guides, or websites that may be useful in navigating different concerns. OMGYes uses research to promote education are a wonderful example of how sex tech may be used currently. Sex therapists often keep up to date on the research that explores new ways to treat sexual difficulties. Researchers are actively exploring how different sex toys and apps are enhancing the way we manage concerns like erectile difficulties, premature and delayed ejaculation, anorgasmia, and low desire.

The Potential of Sex Tech in Enhancing Intimacy and Connection

There are some ways that these innovative technologies are already capable of enhancing connection and pleasure. The technology in many vibrators and sex toys has advanced to include app controls for toys, inviting hands-free fun alone or with partners. For couples who are long-distance, a number of brands have created toys that sync to apps and allow for long-distance play, which can boost sexual connection even when apart! While many of these toys are focused on one device and one remote, some brands offer devices that can be synced for playing together while apart. Even things like phone sex, video chats, and sexting could be considered innovations in sex tech. 

While the research is somewhat limited and currently growing, there is data suggesting that some sex tech, like wearable devices and other sex toys, may be successful in treating a number of sexual difficulties. A 2024 study broke down the research being done on a number of wearable sex tech and vibrator tools to explore how they are being used to treat some of these concerns. While many of these devices are in early testing phases, they appear to have some hopeful outcomes. One device aims to help treat premature ejaculation through simulating sensations similar to penetration and using an app to gather biofeedback and teach people with penises how to control ejaculation. It shared similar results to other methods of treatment that are combined with sex therapy, without the same side effects of medications. 

Research on how vibrators and sex tech that collect biofeedback data can be used to help with sexual pain and arousal is ongoing; this study explores a few devices being studied currently. Some of these devices work to target low desire by increasing arousal through vibration or even suction. Other devices are able to measure pelvic floor functioning to target specific concerns with orgasm. As mentioned, many of these technologies are in early stages and will likely only improve from here! 

The Future of Sex Tech: What’s on the Horizon?

Virtual Reality and Enhanced Experiences

New innovations like the use of VR and AI seem to be some of the biggest developments that are just starting out. While the research on these technologies is very limited, there is some suggestion that VR may be helpful in reducing anxiety and working through trauma in a therapeutic space. AI chatbots are also on the rise, as well as the use of AI in creating sexual material. This may pose unique benefits and risks that require further consideration as it relates to ethics and treatment. Further research may help to shed light on a fuller picture of these risks and benefits. 

The Ethical Considerations and Challenges of Sex Tech

These advancements in technology can be wonderful and improve treatment, but there are risks that are worth noting. One concern that many have is related to privacy and data storage related to sex tech. For some, the concern is related to the storing of sensitive information and photos through messaging apps or AI chatbots, or the data collected through the apps that collect sexual information and biofeedback. This data is subject to potential hacking or leaks, which can be worrying. Some have raised concerns about the bluetooth features on sex toys being hacked and controlled without consent. It is always worth looking into ways that these apps and companies work to keep data private. 

More research is needed on sex tech’s impact on relationships. Many people worry that instead of being used to create connection, it could increase loneliness and make human interaction less likely. A reliance on sex tech may mean that there is less emotional connection with a partner. While sex tech can be a great tool to explore sexuality, for some, it may limit confidence in engaging with other humans in a sexual way. There may be additional dynamics in sexual contexts with humans that wouldn’t be the case with a sex toy, robot, or chatbot. A large concern related to sexual interaction with non-human sex tech is around consent. Since these are non-human tools, the idea of consent may not need to be explored, which may influence how people respond with human to human interactions. If there is limited practice in having conversations about consent, it may not be considered when another human is in the picture, which could lead to harmful situations.

These relational concerns, whether it is emotional connection, changing dynamics, or consent, can all be addressed in therapy. A sex therapist can help individuals and couples navigate boundaries and dynamics with sex tech to make sure that it is tailored to the unique needs of the person or couple. Sex therapy can provide a space to navigate an over-reliance on this technology or provide education on consent. 

How Sex Tech and Therapy Work Hand in Hand

While these technologies may be accessible without therapy, a therapist is still a valuable tool in this area. Therapists can help address communication, trauma, and intimacy in a way that the technology may not. Not to mention, a sex therapist can help tailor these resources and care to fit the specific needs of the individual or couple. Sex therapy may be the bridge between embracing innovation and maintaining emotional and relational health. 

A couples therapist may be able to provide guidance on how to introduce sex tech while maintaining intimacy and emotional closeness. For individuals, many of the benefits of sex tech and sexual difficulties were found to be successful when paired with sex therapy and traditional treatments. Again, having a professional to provide individualized care can provide additional benefits. 

For some, therapy may be a space to explore anxiety or overwhelm related to the rapidly changing technology. Therapy can also address loneliness and community building in a way that tech may not be able to. Finding a sex therapist that can provide that extra support that can help you navigate intimacy, relationships, or sexual health issues, especially as it relates to technology.

Embracing the Future of Intimacy

Sex tech has the potential to revolutionize sexual health. While the research is growing, it can be very important to have a balanced approach that combines these tools with the support of a therapist to enhance connection, intimacy, and address any challenges that may present.

If you are ready to explore how sex tech can complement your relationship and intimacy, or if you are looking for support in navigating technology’s role in your intimate life, book an appointment with one of our Chicago sex therapists today!

Coming Out as Bisexual in a World That Doubts You: What Bi Erasure Is, Why It Hurts, and How to Reclaim Your Identity

Coming Out as Bisexual in a World That Doubts You: What Bi Erasure Is, Why It Hurts, and How to Reclaim Your Identity

Written by Abby Gerding, MFT

What Does It Mean to Be Bisexual?

Bisexuality is typically used to describe a sexual, romantic, and/or emotional attraction to folks of multiple genders, often including one’s own gender. Bisexuality often comes with a number of misconceptions, which are important to discuss.

One of the most common misconceptions is that bisexuality is a specific attraction to folks who fall under a traditional gender binary. The reality is that bisexual folks can experience attraction to multiple gender expressions, including non-binary, agender, trans, and gender fluid folks. Along these lines, it is common to hear the assumption that bisexuals experience a 50/50 split in their attraction to men and women. For many people, attraction is not neatly split and may be to more than two genders. 

Bisexuality is not just a “phase,” nor does it change depending on the gender of one’s partner. People don’t stop being straight or gay as soon as they enter into a relationship. So, why would that be different for bisexual people? While some people may experience more fluidity in their sexual identity or explore multiple labels in their journey to understanding their sexuality, bisexuality is a valid identity and is not a stepping-stone for many. Bisexuals do exist and do, in fact, make up the largest portion of the LGBTQ+ population, according to recent census data. 

Why Coming Out as Bisexual Hits Differently

Coming out as bisexual presents unique challenges. The myths mentioned above are only a small number bisexuals face when coming out. Both straight and queer communities may have doubts or carry misconceptions. Bisexual folks may feel a sense of pressure to explain their relationship history in order to provide a sense of validity to their identity that other folks may not feel the need to explain. Both straight and LGBTQ+ communities may subscribe to the idea that this is a “phase” or pose questions that feel invalidating. 

It can be especially difficult if the person coming out is already in a relationship or entering into one. If a bisexual person is in what may appear to be a straight-presenting relationship, their identity may not be seen as valid. They may be assigned a label that doesn’t fit for them based on the way their relationship looks. They may also face some skepticism that makes them feel out of place in the queer community, but they may not feel like they have a place in straight communities. This leads to a lot of bisexual folks feeling stuck in the middle or isolated from their community. 

What Is Bi Erasure and Where Does It Come From?

Bi erasure is a widespread phenomenon in which the legitimacy and prevalence of bisexuality is denied or dismissed. This process may occur through external factors, such as the exclusion of bisexuals from queer spaces, the belief that bisexuality is a transient identity rather than a valid destination, and the lack of representation, among other things. It can also be reinforced by internalized biphobia. The self-doubt that may be a product of many of these assumptions can be a form of self-erasure. A 2026 study looked at a number of themes that contribute to bi erasure, and found that a number of the misconceptions discussed here are major contributors to the process. The stereotypes and myths that surround bisexuality often serve to create doubt or further the idea that the bisexual identity is illegitimate, which increases the amount of stress bi folks face and contributes to a sense of invisibility. 

The lack of bisexual representation and validity often leads to the responsibility falling on bisexuals to defend and explain their identity. When a person’s sexuality is determined based on the perception of who they are in a relationship with, it often leads to assumptions that leave little room for bisexuality. This can be exhausting and have negative impacts on mental health.

The Real Mental Health Cost of Being Doubted

Many studies from across the world suggest that bisexual people report higher levels of depression and anxiety than both heterosexual and gay/lesbian populations. A 2022 Australian study suggests over 80% of bisexual people have experienced a mental health disorder compared to just over 63% of lesbian and gay people, and over 41% of heterosexual people. 

As mentioned previously, bisexual mental health is often impacted by a great deal of chronic stress. Many queer folks experience increased rates of discrimination due to their sexuality. However, bisexual people may be subjected to judgment and discrimination from both heterosexual and gay/lesbian communities, which can add more pressure and stress, leading to higher levels of anxiety and depression. People may also be less likely to come out due to the stigma, which may cause people to feel more alone and, in turn, not want to come out. 

What Affirmation Actually Looks Like

Affirmation can happen in three ways. Internal affirmation specifically looks at the internal validation of one’s identity. Empowerment can come from internal strength and knowing who you are can help protect against the misconceptions or doubt that may be present when coming out. Another source of affirmation comes from relationships with those closest to you. Having the support of a partner(s) and family (chosen or otherwise) can be wonderful. Not having to prove oneself to the folks around them or defend themselves can be very affirming. With romantic partners, not reinforcing biphobic stereotypes by questioning a partner’s loyalty or attraction can be key to providing an affirming space. Affirmation can also come from the community. When a community openly accepts folks who come out as bi without the assumption that this is a phase or that their partner determines the validity of their sexuality, it can feel incredibly validating. Finding a space where you can feel a sense of belonging and less on the outside of two different spaces creates a sense of visibility and affirmation that can help combat bi-erasure. 

How LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapy Supports Bisexual Clients Specifically

LGBTQ+ affirming therapy is a wonderful place to start! Affirming therapy goes beyond simply understanding that bisexuality exists, and enters a space in which bisexuality is honored and there is no pressure to prove that your identity is valid. Bisexual-informed care takes into consideration the challenges and pressures that come with being bi, and celebrates the unique joys that accompany this beautiful identity. The therapy room should be one in which your sexuality is met with warmth rather than skepticism.

You Do Not Owe Anyone an Explanation of Your Sexuality

Bisexuality is valid. Regardless of who you have or have not been in relationship with, how your relationship presents, or whether you are out or not, your bisexual identity is valid. Everyone’s journey is unique and, therefore, does not require proof or justification. 

You Deserve a Therapist Who Actually Gets It

Therapy can be a wonderful space to explore your bisexual identity. Having a therapist like our team at Embrace Sexual Wellness who understands the unique joys and challenges that bisexuality comes with is important. We provide LGBTQ+ celebratory therapy in Chicago that honors and affirms the bisexual experience. If you are ready to speak to someone who truly gets it, schedule a free 10-minute phone consultation with one of our sex therapists today!

Can a Sexless Marriage Be Fixed? What Therapy Really Looks Like

Can a Sexless Marriage Be Fixed? What Therapy Really Looks Like

If you are reading this, there is a good chance something has already shifted in your marriage that feels hard to name and harder to talk about. Sex has stopped, or nearly stopped. Maybe it happened gradually over years. Maybe it followed a specific event: a pregnancy, an illness, a period of conflict that never fully resolved. Maybe you cannot point to anything in particular and that is its own kind of disorienting.

What is almost certainly true is that you have not talked about it directly with your partner, or that when you have tried, the conversation went badly and you both retreated further. Sexless marriages tend to persist not because couples do not want things to be different, but because the conversation required to change them feels too loaded, too painful, or too risky to attempt.

The first thing worth knowing is that you are not in an unusual situation. The second is that this is one of the most treatable presentations in couples therapy, when both partners are willing to engage. Understanding what actually causes a marriage to become sexless, and what therapy for it genuinely involves, can help you decide whether professional support is the right next step for you.

How Common Is a Sexless Marriage?

The most widely cited clinical definition of a sexless marriage is a couple who has sex fewer than ten times per year. By that measure, data from the General Social Survey and the Indiana University National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior consistently estimate that between 15 and 20 percent of married couples in the United States qualify. In raw terms, if you are in a sexless marriage, you are in the company of tens of millions of people.

The figure is likely an undercount. Surveys on sexual frequency depend on self-report, and this is a topic where both overreporting and underreporting occur. What the data captures is a floor, not a ceiling.

Sexless marriages are also not static. Most do not begin that way. They develop over time through an accumulation of disconnection, avoidance, unaddressed conflict, and the gradual erosion of the conditions that once made sex feel natural. Understanding that process is more useful than the label itself.

Why Marriages Become Sexless: It Is Rarely Just One Thing

One of the most consistent findings in clinical work with couples who have stopped having sex is that sexlessness is rarely a cause. It is a symptom. Something else has been building, and the absence of sex is how it has surfaced.

The most common underlying drivers include:

•  Unresolved conflict and emotional distance. When couples carry unrepaired ruptures, resentment, or contempt, the emotional safety required for physical intimacy disappears. Sex becomes psychologically impossible not because desire has evaporated but because the relational container for it has been damaged. For many couples, addressing the emotional estrangement is the necessary first step before sexual reconnection becomes possible.

•  Desire discrepancy that was never named or negotiated. One partner wants sex significantly more than the other. Rather than navigating this directly, both partners adapt: the higher-desire partner stops initiating to avoid rejection, the lower-desire partner withdraws further to avoid pressure. Over time, both learn not to try. The result looks like mutual disinterest but often reflects mutual avoidance of a painful pattern that was never resolved.

•  Life stage transitions. The arrival of children, particularly in the first few years of parenting, is one of the strongest predictors of declining sexual frequency. Exhaustion, changed body image, shifting relational roles, and the loss of unstructured time all compound. For many couples this transition becomes permanent rather than temporary because they never actively addressed the shift.

•  Physical and mental health changes. Depression, anxiety, chronic illness, hormonal changes, medication side effects, and pain conditions all affect sexual desire and function in documented ways. When a physical or mental health factor is present and unaddressed, no amount of relational repair will fully restore the sexual relationship. Medical evaluation is often a necessary part of a comprehensive approach.

•  Avoidance that has become entrenched. Once a couple has not had sex for a significant period, the absence itself becomes a source of anxiety and pressure. The longer it goes, the higher the perceived stakes of any attempt to restart. Many couples enter a kind of mutual paralysis: neither partner initiates because the gap has grown so large that any move feels awkward, exposing, or likely to fail. Avoidance maintains itself.

Does a Sexless Marriage Always Need to Be Fixed?

This question deserves a direct answer rather than an assumption that every sexless marriage is equally distressed.

A small proportion of couples, research suggests roughly 10 to 12 percent of those in long-term sexless relationships, report being genuinely satisfied with their relationship despite the absence of sex. For these couples, the arrangement is mutual, the emotional connection is intact, and neither partner experiences significant distress. This is a different situation from a marriage where one or both partners are suffering, and it does not call for the same response.

The relevant question is not whether you are having sex but whether the current state of your relationship is causing distress to one or both of you. If it is, whether that distress is about the sex itself, the distance it reflects, or the hurt that has accumulated around it, that distress is a legitimate reason to seek support.

Can It Actually Be Fixed? What the Research Says

The short answer is yes, most of the time, with the right kind of help and genuine engagement from both partners. A 2025 systematic review and meta-analysis found couple-based interventions produced significant improvements in relationship satisfaction and intimacy outcomes across a broad range of presenting concerns, including low desire and sexual disconnection. The review, which analyzed 12 studies meeting rigorous methodological criteria, found that structured couple therapy consistently outperformed control conditions.

A 2022 review concluded couple’s therapy has garnered considerable empirical support for its effectiveness across a broad spectrum of relational dysfunctions, and that it has become one of the most well-evidenced intervention modalities in mental health. The caveat that appears consistently in the research is that outcomes depend significantly on both partners being willing participants in the process, not just present in the room.

Prognosis also depends on what is driving the sexlessness. Couples where the primary issue is avoidance and accumulated distance, without deep trauma or entrenched contempt, tend to show the most rapid improvement. Couples where the drivers include long-standing resentment, a history of betrayal, or a significant and unaddressed individual mental health or medical issue typically require a longer or more layered approach.

What Therapy for a Sexless Marriage Actually Looks Like

Many couples delay seeking help because they are not sure what therapy for this issue actually involves. The most common fear is that it will be uncomfortable in ways they cannot predict, or that a therapist will simply tell them to have more sex, which they already know they are not doing.

That is not what happens. Here is what clinical work with a sexless marriage actually involves:

•  Assessment before intervention. A competent sex therapist or couples therapist begins by understanding what is actually driving the absence of sex. This means taking a thorough history of each partner’s experience, the relationship’s sexual history, the timeline of the change, and the physical and psychological factors in play for each person. Treatment cannot be targeted without this picture.

•  Addressing the emotional layer first. Because sexlessness is usually rooted in emotional disconnection, clinical work typically addresses the relational dynamics, the avoidance patterns, and the unspoken hurt before attempting any behavioral change in the sexual relationship. Trying to restart sexual activity before emotional safety has been restored rarely produces lasting results and often fails in ways that deepen the avoidance.

•  Sensate focus and gradual reintroduction of physical intimacy. Once the emotional climate has shifted, therapy often involves structured exercises, completed privately by the couple outside sessions, that rebuild physical connection without pressure for sex. Sensate focus, developed by Masters and Johnson and refined extensively since, removes the performance expectation from physical contact and allows desire to emerge naturally as safety is restored.

•  Communication skills and ongoing negotiation. Many couples in sexless marriages have never developed a shared language for talking about sex, desire, or their physical relationship. Therapy builds this capacity explicitly, giving couples tools for ongoing conversation that do not depend on crisis to initiate them.

•  Coordinated medical support where relevant. Where hormonal, pain, or other medical factors are contributing, a good sex therapist will work in coordination with a physician or other specialist. Therapy alone does not address physiological barriers, and medical treatment alone does not address the psychological and relational dimensions. Effective treatment of a sexless marriage where physical factors are present usually requires both.

When to Seek Help, and When Not to Wait

One of the clearest predictors of poorer outcomes in couples therapy is delay. The longer a sexless pattern persists, the more entrenched the avoidance becomes, the more accumulated hurt there is to address, and the higher the risk that one or both partners will begin to disengage from the relationship entirely before help is sought.

You do not need to have been sexless for years to benefit from professional support. If the pattern has been present for more than a few months, if one or both of you is distressed, and if your attempts to address it on your own have not produced meaningful change, those are sufficient reasons to seek help now rather than later.

You also do not need both partners to be equally motivated at the outset. It is common for one partner to initiate therapy while the other is uncertain. What matters is that both are willing to engage genuinely with the process once it begins.

This Is One of the Most Treatable Things We Work With

A sexless marriage is not evidence that your relationship is over or that the connection between you cannot be restored. For most couples who engage seriously with treatment, meaningful improvement is achievable. What it requires is the willingness to stop managing the absence quietly and start addressing what is underneath it with professional support.

At Embrace Sexual Wellness, our Chicago-based sex therapists and couples therapists work with couples navigating sexlessness at every stage, from the early recognition that something has shifted to situations where years have passed without physical intimacy. We take a warm, clinically grounded approach that meets both partners where they are and builds a path forward that works for both of them.

If your marriage has become sexless and you are ready to understand what is driving it and what to do about it, we invite you to schedule a free 10-minute phone consultation today. You do not have to figure this out alone.