Written by Seth Taylor, ALMFT
Sex therapy is a valuable resource for individuals and couples looking to improve their sexual well-being, address concerns, and enhance their overall quality of life. However, questions often arise about its effectiveness and how to determine if sex therapy is making a positive impact. In this blog post, we'll explore the key aspects of sex therapy, including its effectiveness, common techniques, the therapy process, and when you should consider seeking a sex therapist. By the end, you'll have a better understanding of how to recognize that sex therapy is working for you.
Does Sex Therapy Work?
Before delving into the ways to know if sex therapy is working, it's important to address the fundamental question, does sex therapy work? The short answer is yes, sex therapy can be highly effective in addressing a wide range of sexual concerns. Whether you're struggling with sexual dysfunction, communication issues, or simply seeking to improve your sexual experiences, sex therapy can offer valuable support.
When Should I See a Sex Therapist?
You may benefit from seeing a sex therapist if you are experiencing or have experienced any of the following:
Sexual dysfunction (e.g., erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or anorgasmia)
Difficulty with intimacy and connection with your partner
Relationship conflicts related to sexual issues
Lack of sexual desire or sexual satisfaction
A history of trauma or sexual abuse
What to Expect During Sex Therapy
The sex therapy process can vary, but it typically involves several stages including assessment, goal setting, intervention, homework and self-practice, progress review, and closure and maintenance.
Assessment
The therapist conducts an initial assessment to understand your concerns, goals, and background. This helps tailor the therapy to your specific needs. They’ll be interested in how long you have been experiencing that which you are concerned about and the ways in which it is impacting your daily functioning. Also, there is often an exploration of sexual scripts (e.g., what we believe about sex and where we learned it).
Goal Setting
You and the therapist work together to set specific goals for therapy, which provides a clear direction for your sessions. Many therapists have different approaches to the goal setting process. Goals can range from addressing the sexual concerns explicitly to exploring and processing the impact of life events that may be informing the concern.
Intervention
Therapy sessions may include various techniques and exercises to address your concerns and work towards your goals. For example, communication exercises encourage open dialogue about desires and concerns. Education and psychoeducation offer accurate information about sexual functioning. Sensate focus exercises promote sensual exploration without an agenda. Cognitive-behavioral therapy targets negative thought patterns and behaviors, while mindfulness and relaxation techniques alleviate performance anxiety and enhance overall sexual experiences. These interventions are adapted to individual or couple needs, aiming to improve sexual satisfaction and promote healthy relationships.
Homework and Self-Practice
You and your partner may receive assignments to complete between sessions, fostering personal growth and progress. These activities are designed to help you actively work toward your goals. This is where much of the growth and progress occurs, when you use what you’re learning through therapy to bring about change in your life. It’s important to acknowledge that people tend to vary on their pace of therapy as well.
Progress Review
Periodically, you and your therapist will review your progress, adjust goals, and fine-tune the therapeutic approach as needed. These are often referred to as progress check-ins. It provides opportunities for the therapist and client to lean into the therapeutic relationship by discussing progress, offering feedback, and highlighting strengths. In some cases, clients can shift into closure or maintenance while others collaborate with their therapist to create new therapeutic goals, if desired.
Closure and Maintenance
Once your goals are met, therapy can conclude with strategies to maintain your progress and address any potential future concerns. This can look like adjusting the frequency of therapy sessions. These “maintenance” sessions are meant to help clients transition out of therapy while continuing to engage with the changes they created during the course of therapy.
Basic Sex Therapy Techniques
Sex therapists employ a variety of techniques to address their clients' needs.
Education. Sex therapists often provide education about sexual health, anatomy, and the nature of sexual issues. Understanding the fundamentals can help demystify the challenges you face.
Communication Skills. Therapists teach couples effective communication skills to express their desires, concerns, and boundaries in a non-confrontational manner.
Behavioral Techniques. Behavioral techniques may involve exercises, assignments, or sensate focus exercises to help you and your partner become more attuned to each other's bodies and desires.
Cognitive-Behavioral Exercises. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT is a valuable approach for addressing psychological factors contributing to sexual concerns. It helps reframe negative thought patterns and beliefs.
Sensory Awareness. Exploring sensory awareness can help individuals and couples become more in tune with their bodies and sensations, leading to enhanced sexual experiences.
How to Know if Sex Therapy is Helping
Your Communication Improves
Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy sexual relationship. One of the first signs that sex therapy is working is enhanced communication between you and your partner. You'll find it easier to discuss your desires, concerns, and boundaries, leading to a more fulfilling sexual connection.
Your Comfort and Confidence Increases
Sex therapy often involves building self-confidence and self-acceptance. As you progress through therapy, you'll likely notice an increase in your comfort level, which can lead to a more satisfying sex life.
Your Sexual Dysfunction is Resolved
If you sought therapy for issues like erectile dysfunction, sexual pain, or low libido, progress is evident when you see tangible improvements in these areas. The ability to sustain an erection, reduce pain, or experience an increase in sexual desire are all positive indicators.
You Experience Greater Sexual Satisfaction
Ultimately, the goal of sex therapy is to enhance your sexual satisfaction. Positive results are visible when you and your partner report higher levels of fulfillment and enjoyment in your sexual experiences.
Takeaway
Sex therapy is a valuable service for addressing sexual concerns and improving your overall quality of life. Recognizing that sex therapy is working involves improvements in communication, comfort, and sexual satisfaction. If you're experiencing sexual issues or are simply looking to enhance your sexual well-being, don’t hesitate to seek the guidance of a qualified sex therapist. It can be the first step toward a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life.
