Understanding the Minority Stress Model

One’s identities (race, gender, religion, and more) and their according privilege or lack thereof affect how they are treated in society. Those who belong to marginalized groups such the LGBTQ+ community and BIPOC communities, for example, are at risk for experiencing minority stress. The minority stress model is a theory that provides insight into the relationship between minoritized/marginalized and dominant groups that result in a contentious social environment for the minority group members. 

The first person to coin the term was Dr. Virginia Rae Brooks in her book, Minority Stress and Lesbian Women in 1981. Ilan Meyer’s 2003 study, Prejudice, Social Stress, and Mental Health in Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Populations advanced Brooks’ research. Beyond this study, there are dozens of additional studies providing the existence of minority stress. The contentious social environment, especially prejudice and discrimination, has detrimental effects on the wellbeing of minority group members. The five types of minority stress are victimization, discrimination, heteronormative cultural norms, stereotyping and prejudice, and systematic bias. These ongoing stressors are what cause the detrimental effects of minority stress as a whole. It’s important to note that minority stress is distinct from general stress, which everyone can experience. Unlike general stress, minority stress is chronic and socially-based. The overarching social structures that create prejudice and discrimination in the first place are staples of society which means they are unending and inescapable.

Intersectional theory demands that we are, among other things, context specific. This means that people and, in the context of therapy, patients all have different needs, access, and privilege that all need to be taken into account when assessing one’s stress levels. There are a variety of theories about integrating treatment strategies to specifically target minority stress. 

One such theory is the ESTEEM model which aims to address mental, sexual, and behavioral health needs. It’s important to note that the study underlying the ESTEEM model was done on sexual minority men so while the information it generated is important, the research scope was limited. The ESTEEM model includes ten treatment modules to be conducted in one-on-one settings that range from tracking instances of minority stress in a patient’s life, discussing learned emotional responses and consequences of minority stress, and exploring the concept of emotion avoidance and emotion-driven behaviors. 

Minority stress is vital to understand for the general population and healthcare practitioners alike. The day to day effects of minority stress have significant effects on wellbeing and health which needs to be taken into account when assessing various health problems that may arise. While minority stress is unavoidable, there are self-care and professional treatment options to help work through its effects. If you’d like to speak with a professional therapist, contact the ESW team here.

Navigating Asexual/Allosexual Relationships

Asexuality is an umbrella term for a sexual orientation spectrum unified by the lack of experiencing sexual attraction towards other people. As opposed to celibacy which is a choice to abstain from sex, asexuality is intrinsic like any other sexual orientation. A lack of sexual attraction does not always inherently mean that someone does not experience other forms of attraction like romantic, aesthetic, or sensual. Like any other identity, the way asexuality manifests will vary from individual to individual. Some asexual people still enjoy the act of sex, while others are sex-repulsed. Furthermore, asexuality may be coupled with any type of romantic attraction but not always. Asexuality is a completely valid sexuality and is not to be confused with any dysfunction or fundamental lacking. Being that some asexual people still experience romantic attraction, it’s likely that not every person they will be romantically attracted to will also be asexual. This difference in sexual orientation  has the potential to cause friction in a relationship if it’s not explicitly and intentionally addressed. Here are some ideas for broaching this topic with your partner.

It’s vital for the allosexual (non-asexual) partner(s) to keep in mind that asexuality, like any other sexual orientation, is not a choice. It is never okay to lash out at an asexual person for something they cannot control. Remember, approach this as you and your partner(s) against the problem, not you versus one another. The problem is the mismatch in needs, not the asexual person’s orientation. 

  • Evaluate the tangible sexual needs of all partner(s). Before being able to figure out how to make sure everyone’s needs are being fulfilled, you need to understand what those needs are. In Embrace Sexual Wellness’s blog article, “How to Determine and Communicate Boundaries in Relationships” you can find ways to discover and communicate your needs.

  • Brainstorm solutions outside of the box. Consider options like ethical non-monogamy, scheduled sex for a guaranteed frequency (if the asexual partner is open to having sex), and nurturing other types of intimacy. 

  • Remember, this  can be a tricky situation to navigate for anyone. There is no shame in seeking out help from professionals like the clinicians at Embrace Sexual Wellness. A third party can facilitate a more productive, effective conversation which may be the jumpstart you and your partner(s) need to tackle this challenge.

6 Tips for If You and Your Partner Aren't on the Same Page About Kids

Compromise is typically a good way to navigate relationship disagreements, but what about when it comes to kids? There’s no way to have half a child or only parent them for half of their life. Being responsible for a human life is a huge decision and navigating disagreement around it is understandably stressful. Hopefully this guide will help you navigate it as effectively as possible. 

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  • Remember that kids aren’t the answer to your relationship problems

    • Think and talk about the relationship itself. Is it strong and allowing you to grow as a person? Do you feel like your best self in the relationship? If you’re looking to have kids in the hopes it will bring you and your partner together, definitely step back and reconsider both because it will more than likely cause more strain on the relationship.

  • Ask yourself the hard questions and then ask each other

    • What are you hoping kids will bring to your life that you don’t experience now? 

    • What are you afraid of if you do have kids? 

    • What happened in your parents’ or caregivers’ marriages after having kids? 

    • Will you feel unfulfilled if you don’t have kids?

    • Will you resent your partner if you do have kids and end up with a responsibility you may not want? 

    • What hesitations do you have about having kids and are there ways to compromise to work around them? 

  • Remember that this is you and your partner versus the problem at hand, not you versus your partner

  • Avoid ultimatums

    • Ultimatums are no good for anyone. Threats are not the way to make a life changing decision and will only breed resentment. 

  • See a professional

    • Some problems are simply too big to tackle yourself and there’s no reason to white knuckle through it. Talking to a therapist like the ones at Embrace Sexual Wellness is a great start to navigating this disagreement. 

  • Don’t go in with an agenda; go in with an open mind and open ears

    • If you try to get combative right from the start, it will only create more tension. 

  • Recognize when it’s healthier to split ways

    • Breakups usually aren’t easy, especially when they’re not due to a lack of love. Sometimes, you might just be fundamentally incompatible and staying in a relationship like that won’t allow you to get your needs met

    • Sacrificing your happiness is a lose-lose situation. Everyone involved deserves to find happiness and to have their needs met

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