Mental Health

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How Parents Can Help Teens Navigate Social Media Safely

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In the digital age, social media is a ubiquitous part of life. People of every age use social media daily for entertainment, marketing, communication, and more. While social media has many great features that make it easier to stay in touch with loved ones, access community resources, and share opinions, it can also be a precarious place. As the digital world evolves, so do the challenges presented to parents, especially when it comes to safety and cyberbullying. Since social media is virtually unavoidable, banning your teen from using it is impractical and hard to enforce. However, there are steps you can take to help teens navigate social media responsibly and safely.

Online Safety Tips

Social media safety is essential for everyone, especially teens, because their brains are still developing. Teens are particularly susceptible to seeking social rewards such as “likes” and they are still developing self-control, and are more prone to trusting strangers, which makes them more vulnerable online. Experts recommend that kids under 13 steer clear of social media entirely and teens should not have unfettered, unregulated access to social media until at least age 16. Excessive or irresponsible social media use can lead to higher levels of depression and anxiety, exposure to cyberbullying, and sleep disruption. With that in mind, here are some tips for approaching online safety with your teen and how to regulate their use of social media.  

Talk about what information is okay to share online

Basic identifying information such as your address, social security, number, age, passwords, and phone numbers should be kept private. Teens need to be careful about sharing information like this because someone could use it to find more sensitive information about them. For example, a teen sharing a photo on Instagram and tagging their high school informs followers where to find them during school hours. Make sure your teen understands how information like this may pose safety concerns.

Emphasize safety over getting in trouble

One of the most crucial parts of helping your teen stay safe online is making sure they feel comfortable talking to you openly about their experiences. If your child is afraid to speak with you about uncomfortable or unsafe online experiences because they fear getting in trouble, they are more likely to end up in risky situations. When they do come to you with an uncomfortable situation, ask about their perspective, validate their feelings, and explain the risk posed by their behavior. If needed, invite them to think about what consequence they think would be reasonable. Try focusing on making this a learning moment instead of punishing them, which might prevent them from coming to you in the future.     

Configure privacy settings together

Privacy policies are wordy and long, leading most people to unthinkingly hit “accept terms” when signing up for social media. Still, it is important to be intentional about understanding privacy settings, especially with teens. Going through the app settings together is a good way to involve your teen in the process and emphasize the importance of privacy online. 

Increase social media literacy

Understanding how to navigate social media is important for anyone, especially for teens who are more vulnerable due to their developing brains. Teens might not be able to fully grasp the risk of irresponsible social media use and are more prone to being impulsive without regard for consequences. Topics like identifying misinformation, how much social media use is too much, and steering clear of interacting with strangers are vital to teach your teen. It will not happen in a single conversation, so it is important to have several conversations that coincide with your teen’s evolving relationship with social media as they get older. 

Set boundaries around social media use

Allowing your teen to use social media does not mean they have to have unfettered, unregulated access. Collaborate with your teen to set boundaries with their social media use. Ask which guidelines make sense to them, and explain the reasoning behind any parameters you establish. Some suggested boundaries include no screens after 9 p.m., no technology in the bedroom overnight, and no ‘friending’ or interacting with people they do not know in real life.

Takeaway

Social media is a powerful tool with undeniable benefits and risks. The rise of social media presents new challenges for parents concerned about their children’s safety. The goal is not to restrict your teen, but to empower them to develop a healthy, safe relationship with social media. Balancing your teen’s independence and safety can be challenging, but you can find the balance by implementing the strategies in this article. You can find additional resources below to support your journey in internet safety.    

Additional Resources

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How to Make and Keep Friends as an Adult

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When you are a child, making friends is relatively straightforward. You offer to share your toy, or sit down at someone’s lunch table, and you have your foot in the door. Being in school facilitates friendships for most people. Spending most of your time around the same people during some of the most formative years of your life makes it easier to make friends. When you are not surrounded by a circle of social opportunity, it becomes much more complicated to make friends. Sure, you might keep in touch with friends from your years in school. However, it is just as likely that you grow apart, your friendship styles end up being incompatible, or that the friendships just do not withstand the test of time, for whatever reason. Adulthood brings new obstacles to building and maintaining friendships like long distance, busy schedules that never seem to align, and romantic partnerships.  


TV shows like Friends, New Girl, and How I Met Your Mother seem to imply that every adult has a cohesive group of friends who do everything together and complement each other perfectly. When reality fails to match these expectations, it is difficult to not feel as though something is wrong with you for struggling with adult friendships. Rest assured, just because you are currently dissatisfied with the state of your friendships in adulthood, does not mean you cannot change it. It is very much possible to meet and make friends at any age. That is not to say that it is a walk in the park, and it will probably require venturing outside your comfort zone, but it is possible to find your people past your years in school. 

Where to Find Friends

The first step to making friends is finding people you are actually interested in befriending. Once you leave school, most people spend the majority of their time at work. This is a good place to make friends for those that work amongst and with other people, but with the recent rise in remote work, not everyone has the benefit of a social pool at work. Even if you do work with others, you may not work alongside anyone who shares your interests or who seems interesting to you. So, while work can be a good option for meeting friends in some contexts, what do you do if work is not an option for friend-making?    

Join social groups

Local social groups like book clubs, walking clubs, or workout classes are great ways to meet people with similar interests. This is a great way to make friends because you automatically have a subject in common that you can use to start a conversation.

Try using apps

People most often think of apps as a way to meet romantic interests, but there are apps for platonic connections too! Apps like Meetup or Bumble BFF can connect you with other people looking to build new friendships. 

Volunteer

Volunteering not only benefits your community, but it can also introduce you to people who share your values. Websites like VolunteerMatch can help you find volunteering opportunities. 

Take classes

Enrolling in classes or workshops related to your hobbies is a great way to meet people who share your interests. Similar to social groups, classes provide common ground to start a conversation. If paying for a class is out of your budget, check to see if your local community center offers any free workshops. 

Become a regular

Frequenting a local spot regularly (e.g., a library, cafe or restaurant) provides proximity and frequency which can facilitate connection. Seeing the same people frequently increases the likelihood of connecting with them and, even more importantly, maintaining that connection. 

How to Maintain Friendships

Though finding and initially making friends sounds like the hard part, maintaining those friendships is a whole other challenge. When you are inundated with demands for your attention and energy from work, family, health, and anything else you are responsible for, it is easy to let friendships take the backseat. While it is absolutely okay to drop the ball every once in a while, if you truly want to build your social network, you also need to be dedicated to its maintenance. Here are some tips for maintaining your connections:

Communicate expectations 

Clear communication is a requirement for any healthy relationship, platonic or otherwise. Being transparent about topics such as your capacity for spending time together or providing emotional support, dissatisfaction with a friend’s behavior, and what you want out of a friendship is critical to maintaining a healthy dynamic. 

Be present

It is okay if things get busy and you do not have a ton of time to spend with friends, but when you do spend time together, make an effort to be present. Stay off your phone as much as possible, be a good listener, and fully enjoy the time you have together.
Express appreciation and love

Even if you assume your friends must know you appreciate and love them, it is always nice to be reminded. Small gestures like a “thinking of you” text, surprising them with a coffee, and thanking them for what they do for you go a long way with regard to making your friends feel loved. Be the friend to others that you wish you had, and hopefully you will begin to cultivate the types of friends that you want.  

Takeaway

When you are building your social circle, the number one thing to remember is that you need to be patient. Interpersonal connection does not happen overnight, and not every connection will turn into a full blown friendship. It is hard to be patient, but without patience, you might settle for incompatible people which creates more pain in the long run.

Focus on quality, not quantity when it comes to friends. While having dozens of friends may sound great, most people do not have the time or energy to maintain that many fulfilling friendships. Research suggests people need three to five high quality friendships to feel fulfilled, but there is no right or wrong number of friends as the “right” number of friends is up to the individual. When you are trying to determine the amount of friends that is right for you, consider what you want from your social circle, and then you can figure out who to surround yourself with to accomplish that. Remember, feeling dissatisfied with the state of your social life does not mean that there is anything inherently wrong with you. Making friends as an adult can be intimidating, but you can build lasting friendships with patience and willingness to go outside your comfort zone.    

Additional Resources

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Sex Therapy vs. Couples Therapy: What’s the difference?

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Written by Seth Taylor, ALMFT

Maintaining a healthy and satisfying relationship is an ongoing process that can involve seeking guidance from professionals. Two common therapeutic modalities that people turn to for relationship issues are sex therapy and traditional couple's therapy. In this blog post, we'll delve into the key distinctions between these two approaches, address common questions people have about them, and explore whether sex therapy can help with specific sexual issues such as erectile dysfunction (ED) or sexual pain. We'll also shed light on what couples can expect when they begin either of these therapies.

What is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy is a specialized form of counseling that focuses on issues related to sexual dysfunction, intimacy, and sexual well-being. Sex therapists are trained to address a wide range of sexual concerns, including but not limited to erectile dysfunction, desire discrepancy, sexual pain, and performance anxiety. When practiced effectively, sex therapy can help individuals and couples understand and overcome sexual challenges to achieve a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life.

What Happens in Sex Therapy?

In sex therapy, clients can expect a safe and non-judgmental space where they can openly discuss their sexual concerns and desires. The therapist may use a variety of techniques, including communication exercises, psychoeducation, and behavioral homework assignments to help clients work through their issues. The primary goal is to enhance sexual communication, improve intimacy, and resolve sexual problems within the relationship.

What is Traditional Couples Therapy?

Traditional couples therapy, also known as marriage or relationship counseling, addresses a broader range of relationship issues. While sex may be a part of the discussion, the focus extends beyond sexual concerns to include communication problems, conflicts, trust issues, and overall relationship dynamics. Couples therapy is also an empirically validated treatment for these types of relationship issues.

Differences Between Sex Therapy and Couples Therapy

Specialization

The most significant difference is the specialization. Sex therapy is typically focused on sexual concerns, while traditional couples therapy covers a broader spectrum of relationship issues.

Depth of Exploration

Sex therapy delves deeply into sexual matters, addressing sexual dysfunction and intimacy problems with a high degree of specificity. In contrast, couples therapy explores a wide array of relationship dynamics, including non-sexual aspects of the partnership.

Approach

Sex therapy often includes a practical and skills-based approach, including behavioral exercises and psychoeducation. Couples therapy, on the other hand, focuses more on communication techniques and conflict resolution.

Therapist Expertise

Sex therapists receive specialized training in human sexuality and treating sexual issues, while couples therapists typically have more general training in relationships and psychology.

Treatment Duration

Sex therapy is often more short-term and solution-focused, aiming to address specific sexual concerns. Traditional couple's therapy may be more long-term, focusing on overall relationship improvement.

Choosing the Right Therapy for Your Needs

The choice between sex therapy and couples therapy depends on the specific issues you are facing within your relationship. If sexual problems are a significant concern, sex therapy might be the most appropriate choice. However, if your relationship issues encompass broader aspects of communication and connection, couples therapy may be a better fit. Remember that both forms of therapy can be conducted as a couple, so it's essential to communicate openly with your therapist about your goals and expectations.

Takeaway

Sex therapy and couples therapy serve distinct purposes within the realm of relationship counseling. Understanding their differences and knowing when to seek each type of therapy can significantly benefit couples striving to strengthen their bond and enhance their overall well being. Whether it's addressing low desire or erectile dysfunction, improving communication, or reigniting passion, the support of a skilled therapist can be a valuable asset on your journey to a more fulfilling relationship.

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