"How Are You?" - The Question No One Knows How To Answer Right Now

Previously, “How are you?” seemed like a fairly innocuous question. Usually the phrase serves as a synonym for hello or hi. Not in 2020. Today, a simple “hello, how are you?” has become a loaded question. In more predictable times, this question might receive an automatic “good” and then the conversation moves on to something else. Now, the question is much more complicated. What would happen if you answered it honestly? If you are struggling right now, it’s okay. Don’t be afraid to let your loved ones know it.

There isn’t a single person on the planet who has not been affected in some way by COVID-19. Everyone is having to give up something or shift their routines  that may bring them comfort or security. Would it be helpful to openly talk about it? No one person’s problems are more important than another’s. During this time, no one is burdening another with their issues. Share your struggles, discuss ways you have been learning to adjust and try to find inspiration from others’ experiences. We’re all in this together. 

If you’re unemployed, you’re far from alone. Talk about it, tell people what you’re going through in filing for unemployment. They may be in the same place you are soon, and it will be helpful to know what to expect. If you’ve had to cancel a major event such as a wedding or religious ceremony, talk about what has gone into that, inspire people to take the situation more seriously in order to avoid future sacrifices of the same nature. 

It’s okay to not be okay. That’s true at all times, but now in particular. Everyone is struggling in some way, and it helps to talk about it to know we aren’t alone. When someone asks “How are you?” make that the whole conversation, not just the beginning. 

What Conversations Should You Have With Your Partner, Even If Communication Isn’t Your Strong Suit?

In healthy, fulfilling relationships, communication is key. The ability to openly discuss thoughts, fears, desires, and needs with your partner can be the difference between mere attraction and deep, lasting intimacy. But let’s be honest—communication isn’t everyone’s strong suit. So, what can you do if talking about feelings doesn’t come naturally to you? Here are four essential “check-in” conversations you can have with your partner to strengthen your connection, even if communication isn’t your thing.

Essential Conversations to Strengthen Your Relationship

1. "I have been working on ________ lately, how has that been going?"

We all have personal or professional goals we strive to achieve, and relationship goals are no different. Whether you’ve been trying to be more patient, prioritize quality time, or improve your listening skills, it’s important to check in with your partner about your progress. Ask them if they’ve noticed any changes and whether those efforts are contributing to your relationship goals. This conversation not only shows your commitment to growth but also opens the door for valuable feedback.

2. "What do you need from me?"

It’s a simple question, but it’s often one of the hardest to ask. It can also be challenging for your partner to articulate their needs, so creating a safe space for this conversation is crucial. By asking this question, you’re inviting your partner to express what they need from you—something you might not have considered. If you want to be a better partner, this is the question to ask.

3. "I really feel most connected to you when __________."

Is there an activity or moment that makes you feel particularly close to your partner? Whether it’s cooking together, taking walks, or simply having a deep conversation, let them know. Remember, no one is a mind reader. By clearly communicating what makes you feel connected, you’re giving your partner a roadmap to fostering that closeness, which can deepen your bond.

4. "I really need space when __________."

While togetherness is important, so is having space. We all need alone time now and then, and it’s crucial to communicate this to your partner. Letting your partner know when you need space helps set clear boundaries and reduces the chances of misunderstandings. By being open about your need for alone time, you create a healthier, more balanced relationship.

Why Are These Conversations Important for Your Relationship?

These four conversations may seem simple, but they are powerful tools for improving communication and building a stronger connection with your partner. By regularly checking in with each other on these topics, you create an environment of openness and mutual respect. So, even if communication isn’t your strong suit, these questions can help you and your partner navigate your relationship more effectively.

These are just a few of our favorite questions and topics to discuss with your partner in order to strengthen communication. Comment below and let us know which are your favorite conversations and check out our instagram for more information about relationship and sexual wellness!

Is Love Really Blind? Exploring the Reality Behind the Show

Is love truly blind? That’s the question the creators of a new reality dating show set out to explore. Warning: Spoilers ahead.

In the Netflix show Love is Blind, contestants are separated by gender and attend “dates” in separate rooms, where they can hear each other but never see each other. The premise is simple: can individuals fall in love without ever laying eyes on each other, and can that love endure once the visual element is introduced? With curiosity and a bit of skepticism, I watched the show, open to whatever insights it might reveal. The result? Six engaged couples emerged from the experience, surprising even the show’s creators. After becoming engaged, the contestants spent 30 days in Mexico before attempting to get married. While I won’t spoil the ending, here are my key takeaways from the show:

What Does Love is Blind Teach Us About Relationships?

1. The Concept is Fascinating

The idea behind Love is Blind is intriguing—it’s like The Voice, but for dating. By removing the element of physical beauty from the equation, the show challenges us to consider how important physical attraction really is in romantic relationships. After all, physical beauty, shaped by cultural standards, evolves and fades over time. Moreover, someone who might be deemed physically attractive can seem less appealing if their personality is selfish or mean-spirited. Conversely, a person might become more attractive when their personality shines through.

2. The Participants Were Universally Attractive

One notable aspect of the show is that all the participants were, by conventional standards, quite attractive. While beauty is subjective, these individuals were generally above average in terms of societal beauty norms. This raises the question: what would have happened if the show had included participants with a wider range of physical appearances, both within the U.S. and across different cultures?

3. Extraordinary Circumstances Aren’t Reality

It’s easy to fall in love when you’re isolated in a luxurious setting, free from the usual stressors of daily life. The show’s contestants lived in a sort of bubble, shielded from the realities of work, bills, family obligations, and other daily pressures. While the show did introduce the stressor of planning a wedding, the couples still existed in an environment far removed from everyday life. This setting makes it difficult to gauge how these relationships would fare in the real world, where stress and routine can heavily influence romantic dynamics.

4. The Absence of External Influences

In the show, there are no external factors demanding the couples’ attention. In reality, relationships are influenced by friends, family, work, and other responsibilities that can create complex dynamics. Without these external components, the couples on Love is Blind may have experienced a false sense of intimacy. Once these real-world factors are reintroduced, maintaining the same level of closeness and intensity in a relationship can be challenging.

Should We Take Lessons from Reality TV Love Stories?

While shows like Love is Blind are entertaining and offer interesting perspectives on relationships, it’s important to remember that they don’t represent the typical dating experience. These are everyday people “falling in love” under highly extraordinary circumstances.

So, what do you think? Is love really blind, or is physical attraction an unavoidable factor in romantic relationships? If you watched the show, we’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below and join the conversation!