What To Do When Your Partner Loses Their Erection: 6 Ways to Respond

Intimacy is a vital component of a healthy romantic relationship, and sexual intimacy plays a significant role in many partnerships. However, it's not uncommon for individuals to experience challenges with their sexual health, including erectile dysfunction or difficulties with erections. If you find yourself in a situation where your partner loses their erection, it's important to respond in a supportive and understanding manner.

How do I deal with my partner’s erectile dysfunction? 

Here are some healthy ways to respond when your partner loses their erection:

Practice Compassion and Understanding

Is ED a reason to break up? It's crucial to remember that experiencing difficulties with erections is not uncommon and can happen to anyone. Erection issues can stem from a variety of reasons, including stress, anxiety, fatigue, medical conditions, or simply random occurrences. It's essential to approach the situation with compassion and understanding rather than judgment or frustration. Avoid blaming or shaming your partner, as it can worsen the situation and create emotional distress. Instead, be empathetic and let your partner know that you understand it's a common occurrence and are there to support them.

Communicate Openly and Honestly

So, how do people feel when they can’t get it up? Open communication is vital in any relationship, and it becomes even more crucial when it comes to sexual health. Encourage your partner to communicate openly about their feelings, thoughts, and concerns regarding their lost erection. Listen attentively without interrupting or making assumptions. Avoid making negative comments or belittling their experience. Instead, offer reassurance and express your support. Remember, your partner may already feel embarrassed or disappointed, so it's essential to create a safe space for them to share without fear of judgment. 

Reframe the Situation

When your partner loses their erection, it's easy to interpret it as a failure or a reflection of their attraction to you. However, it's important to reframe the situation and see it as a temporary setback that does not necessarily indicate their feelings for you. Remind yourself and your partner that sexual performance is not the sole measure of intimacy and connection in a relationship. Unless this is communicated, performance anxiety could escalate. Emotional and mental connections are equally important. Shift the focus from the physical act to the emotional bond and intimacy you share and emphasize that you are still connected despite the temporary challenge.

Offer Support or Solutions

You may wonder if a man with erectile dysfunction could ever satisfy a partner. If your partner is open to it, offer support and explore potential solutions together. However, it's important to approach this with sensitivity and respect for your partner's comfort level. Avoid pressuring them or imposing solutions without their consent. Instead, discuss options such as seeing a healthcare professional, trying different sexual activities, or exploring relaxation techniques together. Encourage your partner to seek medical advice if they are concerned about their sexual health, as underlying medical conditions can sometimes affect erectile function. Remind them that seeking help is a sign of strength and not weakness.

Be Patient and Understanding

Your partner is most likely already wondering how to overcome their ED anxiety. Dealing with a partner's lost erection can be frustrating and disappointing, but it's important to remember that patience is key. Avoid expressing frustration, disappointment, or anger towards your partner, as it can exacerbate the situation and create emotional distance. Instead, be understanding and patient. Reassure your partner that you are not disappointed or upset with them and are there to support them through this challenge. Be willing to step back from sexual activities and focus on other forms of intimacy, such as emotional connection, affection, and closeness.

Prioritize Self-Care

Coping with your partner's lost erection can also be emotionally challenging. It's important to prioritize your own self-care during this time. Take care of your emotional and physical well-being, and seek support from trusted friends, family, or a sex therapist. Engage in activities that help you relax and manage stress, such as getting regular exercise, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in hobbies you enjoy. Remember that taking care of yourself allows you to be better equipped to support your partner in a healthy and understanding manner.

Takeaway

Can erectile dysfunction ruin a relationship? Only if you let it. At the end of the day, sexual intimacy is a personal and sensitive aspect of any romantic relationship, and it's important to approach it with kindness, patience, and understanding. By responding healthily and supporting your partner through their challenges with erectile function, you can strengthen your bond, deepen your emotional connection, and foster a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Remember that relationships are built on trust, love, and understanding; facing challenges together can ultimately strengthen your partnership. So, be there for your partner, be understanding, and work together towards finding solutions that work for both of you. With mutual support, empathy, and patience, you can navigate this situation healthily and positively!

Is this the right relationship for you? Here are 3 ways to find out

Even in the most committed relationship, it is normal and healthy to occasionally wonder if it is the right fit. There is unfortunately no checklist or book of rules that ensures the perfect match so it is up to us to assess the relationship. Just because you have doubts doesn’t invalidate your commitment and love for your partner, but it’s important to honestly take into consideration those doubts. There is nothing wrong with wanting to consciously and intentionally ensure that your needs are being taken care of as the relationship progresses.

1) You maintain distinct identities and social lives outside the relationship

When you’re in a comfortable, happy relationship it’s easy and normal to get stuck in a love bubble, especially in the honeymoon phase at the beginning. Once that dissipates though, you should feel as though you have a distinct identity and live outside your partner if it’s a typical healthy relationship. Otherwise, you’ll start to veer into codependent territory which is not good.

2) You feel like you can communicate honestly and openly

Communication is the number one ingredient to a good relationship. If you feel like you have to hide parts of yourself or keep your feelings to yourself, that’s a sign that you should evaluate the relationship. It certainly doesn’t mean the relationship is automatically terrible, just that you might want to be intentional about nurturing the communication aspect.

3) Listen to your gut 

The rose-colored glasses of being in love can often override a nagging feeling in your gut that something is off. Allow yourself to honestly weigh the pros and cons and listen to your intuition about the future of the relationship. This is important at any stage of a relationship but especially after you’ve been together awhile; people change over time so you might want to reassess if the things that attracted you initially are still there. A relationship worth your time will be able to withstand your analysis with flying colors.

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It’s important to note that there will never be a one size fits all checklist for whether or not a relationship is “good.” Furthermore, beyond the quantifiable qualities, there are indescribable aspects that contribute to satisfaction as well. At the end of the day, the best you can do is trust your heart and listen to your gut; articles like this can be good guidelines, but should not be the final say on the future of your relationship. These are simply some green flags to look out for. If you are worried about whether or not your relationship is a good fit, consider working with a relationship therapist to talk through your concerns with a qualified professional.

Audio Erotica: What Is It And How Is It Different From Porn?

We live in a time of major porn variety, where the options seem endless. One option has been gaining popularity over the last few years – especially during the early days of the pandemic – and doesn’t appear to be slowing down: audio erotica. Audio erotica is a great alternative to visual porn methods, as evidenced by the multitude of companies focusing on audio established recently. People can have many reasons for switching up their porn consumption methods, especially now that ethical porn is more sought out.

This style of porn is unique in more than one way. Aside from being a fairly new way for porn consumers to switch up sexual routine, listening to rather than looking at porn allows you to practice “mental framing” - scene conjuring and visualization - to get turned on. Anyone can use mental framing, though according to a 2018 study by sex education platform OMGYes and The Kinsey Institute, 90% of women are more likely to use it to imagine sexual fantasies. Even so, audio erotica is great for men and other genders as well as women.

For people of color, trans, fat, and disabled folks – anyone who isn’t traditionally represented in mainstream porn, including those with body image issues – audio erotica is a helpful non-visual alternative. Using your imagination purely to visualize a scene takes away distractions and makes inserting yourself into whatever fantasy you are looking for a whole lot easier. 

Some even say audio porn is better for your brain, since there are no blue screens or eye strain, cutting down screen time and exposure to blue light.

Accessibility is a major benefit of audio erotica. Visually impaired people and those with chronic migraines, which can often be triggered by screens, have few options for porn. Even though sites like PornHub have “described video” add-ons, the selection leaves much to be desired. The fact is that slapping automated video descriptions onto visually driven porn can often miss the mark - but audio and online erotica focuses all its energy on a full-bodied sensory experience. Just like ethical visual porn, there are some groundbreakers in the audio porn industry, and it’s thankfully becoming easier to find a creator that scratches an itch.

Here are three erotica sites on the market today, all of which come with free trials or entirely free sections:

1. Dipsea is arguably the most well-known audio erotica fiction app, with over 5.2 million listens in 2022 and hundreds of stories to choose from. Founded in 2017, Dipsea kicked off a wave of earworm erotica (catchy and popular audio porn) and is notable for featuring queer stories voiced by actual queer voice actors, including their first non-binary actor last year.

2. BLOOM features different genres like “Dirty Talk” and “Play Sessions,” in which a voice actor talks directly to the listener and walks them through masturbation guides, respectively. An app is currently in development and due to be up sometime this year, but until then, their website has a wide variety of options.

   3. Quinn, founded by Snapchat CEO’s sister Caroline Spiegel, has gotten a lot of buzz lately for their celeb voice actors (most notably, Jesse Williams from Grey’s Anatomy). Quinn’s structure is extremely user-friendly, with easily navigated playlists and actor pages so that listeners can get the most out of their favorite erotic stories.

With audio erotica, spending the extra minute to look through options can make a world of difference! All of the companies listed above are woman-owned and ethical sources to keep your sexual wellness in top shape. If you’ve never tried audio erotica before, Dipsea, BLOOM, and Quinn are excellent places to start your journey and get comfortable with new and different sensations - you can even share stories with partners and learn more about each other’s turn-ons.

Want to read more about erotica and fantasies? Check out our blogs on sharing erotica with partners and finding ethical porn. Keeping your sexual health habits interesting with audio porn is great for your mind and body - just one more option for maintaining lifelong sexual wellness.