Benefits of Mutual Masturbation

Masturbation and partnered sex each have their own distinct appeals, but did you know that you can combine the two and mutually masturbate with your partner(s)? Mutual masturbation is the practice of two (or more) people masturbating simultaneously in each others’ presence, either over video call or in the same room.

Some benefits to mutual masturbation are learning more about how your partner(s) like to be touched, being able to simultaneously orgasm, and it’s nearly impossible to get pregnant or catch an STI. If you want to try it out, here are some ideas for good positions when you’re together in person. You can also integrate sex toys to take it to the next level, whether you’re in the same place or not. Another fun way to structure your mutual masturbation is by watching porn together; this has the added bonus of sharing sexual interests by sharing your favorite porn.     

Mutual masturbation can be a fun way to vary your sex and masturbation habits but that it also comes with challenges. The major challenge that many people face when trying mutual masturbation is performance anxiety. Since masturbation is a vulnerable act that is most often practiced solo, it can take some adjusting in order to enjoy it in the presence of another person. 

Performance anxiety can occur in any kind of sex, but mutual masturbation is particularly intimidating for many people. Even beyond the societally ingrained shame surrounding enjoying sexual acts, being able to truly lean into and take pleasure from masturbating in front of others requires becoming comfortable with the intense vulnerability it implies. First of all, it’s a good idea to sit down with your partner(s) and layout everyone’s concerns and insecurities on the table. Just the act of sharing these vulnerable thoughts can help make you more comfortable with the idea. In terms of tangible steps for combatting performance anxiety, one way is to have your partner and/or yourself wear a blindfold or turning off the lights. Another important way to take some of the pressure off is to not expect an orgasm; it’s much more fruitful to focus on the pleasurable sensations and being in the moment and if an orgasm happens, it’s a happy bonus! If you struggle to stay in the moment, check out Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are to learn about sexual mindfulness. For a rundown of mindfulness exercises as a general concept outside of sex, check out this article. 

Ultimately, mutual masturbation is another version of sexual collaboration with your partner(s) and it has the potential to bring you closer, learn more about each others’ sexual likes and interests, and, over time, diminish sexual performance anxiety. As with any kind of sex, there is no right or wrong way to mutually masturbate as long as everyone is consenting and having a good time.      

4 Types of Pleasure Devices That Can Enhance Your Sex Life

Pleasure devices (aka: sex toys) are great tools that can enhance communication and pleasure in the bedroom. Sometimes buying one can be an intimidating task with so many options and a lack of information available due to stigma. Never fear though because Embrace Sexual Wellness has compiled a buying guide to help you find the best match for your personal needs.

First of all, you need to identify what is important to you in a sex toy. Here are some questions you should ask yourself before embarking on your search: 

1. Do you want to be able to use this toy on just yourself, or with partners too? (If you plan on sharing, make sure you take appropriate safety precautions). 

2. Do you have any sensitivities to materials like silicone or latex that need to be taken into consideration?

3. What’s your budget? 

4. Are you interested in something that vibrates or not?

5. Do you need a toy that is waterproof to take in the bath or shower?

6. If you’re interested in vibration, do you want pinpointed sensations or broader stimulation? 

Once you have your answers, you can begin your search in earnest. To get you started, let’s talk about the most popular kinds of sex toys. Please note that regardless of what toys you opt for, it’s essential to take care of them properly. Here is a helpful guide that goes over how to clean sex toys. 

Dildos

Dildos are insertable objects that are most commonly phallic shaped but there are also tons of fantasy and abstract options available too! They come in all sizes, shapes, and colors. Some are smooth, while others have texture. Some vibrate and some don’t. Some can attach to a wearer like a strap–on, while others are handheld. Some even have suction cups so they can stick to flat surfaces like a shower or a bedroom wall. Dildos are a highly versatile item that can be used for penetration, for external stimulation or rubbing on the genitals, or even for gender affirmation.

Vibrators

Vibrators are “objects that vibrate (move continuously/buzz) to stimulate your genitals. Vibrators are often used on genitals but can really be used anywhere that feels good on any anatomy! Popular types of vibrators are bullet, suction, and wand. Bullet vibrators are good for pinpointed stimulation and portability; suction vibrators are a unique sensation that is distinct from other vibrators because they use air pulsation instead or in addition to vibration; and wand vibrators, perhaps the most well known, are good for high powered broad stimulation.

Anal Toys

From butt plugs to anal beads to anal-sex-specific dildos, anal toys come in all shapes and sizes. Here is a guide detailing the differences between your options. Regardless of what you opt for, EVERY anal toy you use must have a flared base (a base that is significantly wider than the insertable portion of the toy). The flared base ensures that the toy won’t go too far up inside the body and if it does go in too far, it may necessitate an unpleasant visit to the emergency room.

Strokers and Penis Rings

The most popular stroker is known as the Fleshlight but these days there are dozens of options to choose from. Some are heated or vibrating, some are textured, and all of them are fun ways to enhance penis play! Another popular sex toy commonly used by people with penises are penis rings which “slow blood flow out of the penis when it’s erect, which can increase sensation, or make your erection harder and longer-lasting.” 

Finally, something incredibly important to take into account during your sex toy search is that sex toys are not carefully regulated like food or medication products so it’s up to the individual consumer to ensure safety. Here are some things you should look for in terms of safety. Do NOT purchase sex toys from websites like Amazon or eBay as they have been known to sell inauthentic and even used items. Some reputable sex toy shops that you can start with are below. Happy sex toy hunting!    

• Spectrum Boutique

• Nox Shop

• Unbound

• FeelMore Adult

• Enby

• Ardentley

• Wink Wink Boutique

• SheBop 

• Good Vibes 

• Smitten Kitten

• Peepshow Toys

• Honey Play Box

• Early to Bed

3 ways to be an Educated Consumer of Mental Health Information Online

A study by McKinsey found that Gen Zers have the least positive life outlook. The COVID-19 pandemic has only exacerbated the already widespread mental health issues of young people. Social media has been a resource for education and connection surrounding mental wellness but it can be tough to parse the helpful from the not so helpful. The internet is a treasure trove of information, but unfortunately not all of it is accurate, especially on social media. With the right presentation and delivery, it isn’t difficult to convey convincing information regardless of how truthful it is. Furthermore, in the context of an isolating global crisis, everyone is desperate for connection and community so it may be easier to ignore warning signs of misinformation in search of that connection. While it’s great that social media allows us to have larger conversations about mental health and coping, those positive effects are undermined by misinformation. 

There is nothing shameful about trusting an inaccurate source. It’s important, however, to make sure that any information about mental health, especially if it’s actionable, is factual and helpful for a particular individual. As the Psychiatric Times explains, “media pollution, which can intensify anxiety… as well as contribute to unsuccessful therapies… is inextricably linked to misinformation and false news.” So not only is mental health misinformation irresponsible to spread, but also actively harmful. On that note, you should ensure that everything you share in addition to consume is accurate, to the best of your ability. Unfortunately, one study found that “experiencing clinical depression was still strongly associated with an increased likelihood of endorsing misinformation” which makes it even more difficult to parse through. Here are some suggestions that may help you navigate this complicated landscape:

Don't take things at face value; question them!

Some good questions to ask yourself when you come across a dubious post are:

• Is this the original account, article, or piece of content?

• Who shared this or created it?

• When was this created?

• What account is sharing this? When was the account created? Do they share things from all over the world at all times during the day and night? Could this be a bot?

• Why was this shared?

Use fact checking websites

Websites like Snopes, Health News Review, and Politifact are made specifically for fact checking. These are great first stops in your fact checking journey. The non-profit Bellingcat also has an amazing compilation of “online investigation” resources that cover the verification of images, social media posts, news articles, and more.

When in doubt, ask for help

If you look into the information at hand and still aren’t sure how true it is, check in with a trusted friend, or therapist perhaps one versed in mental health and psychology. 

It can be intimidating to wade through the dizzying amount of mental health misinformation but with these skills and tips, you’ll be better equipped to parse through it. Luckily, in addition to the misinformation, we also have tons of resources at our fingertips to verify it as long as we’re willing to take the time. Happy fact checking!