Sexual Wellness

4 Types of Pleasure Devices That Can Enhance Your Sex Life

Pleasure devices (aka: sex toys) are great tools that can enhance communication and pleasure in the bedroom. Sometimes buying one can be an intimidating task with so many options and a lack of information available due to stigma. Never fear though because Embrace Sexual Wellness has compiled a buying guide to help you find the best match for your personal needs.

First of all, you need to identify what is important to you in a sex toy. Here are some questions you should ask yourself before embarking on your search: 

  1. Do you want to be able to use this toy on just yourself, or with partners too? (If you plan on sharing, make sure you take appropriate safety precautions). 

  2. Do you have any sensitivities to materials like silicone or latex that need to be taken into consideration?

  3. What’s your budget? 

  4. Are you interested in something that vibrates or not?

  5. Do you need a toy that is waterproof to take in the bath or shower?

  6. If you’re interested in vibration, do you want pinpointed sensations or broader stimulation? 

Once you have your answers, you can begin your search in earnest. To get you started, let’s talk about the most popular kinds of sex toys. Please note that regardless of what toys you opt for, it’s essential to take care of them properly. Here is a helpful guide that goes over how to clean sex toys

Dildos


Dildos are insertable objects that are most commonly phallic shaped but there are also tons of fantasy and abstract options available too! They come in all sizes, shapes, and colors. Some are smooth, while others have texture. Some vibrate and some don’t. Some can attach to a wearer like a strap–on, while others are handheld. Some even have suction cups so they can stick to flat surfaces like a shower or a bedroom wall. Dildos are a highly versatile item that can be used for penetration, for external stimulation or rubbing on the genitals, or even for gender affirmation.

Vibrators


Vibrators are “objects that vibrate (move continuously/buzz) to stimulate your genitals. Vibrators are often used on genitals but can really be used anywhere that feels good on any anatomy! Popular types of vibrators are bullet, suction, and wand. Bullet vibrators are good for pinpointed stimulation and portability; suction vibrators are a unique sensation that is distinct from other vibrators because they use air pulsation instead or in addition to vibration; and wand vibrators, perhaps the most well known, are good for high powered broad stimulation.

Anal Toys


From butt plugs to anal beads to anal-sex-specific dildos, anal toys come in all shapes and sizes. Here is a guide detailing the differences between your options. Regardless of what you opt for, EVERY anal toy you use must have a flared base (a base that is significantly wider than the insertable portion of the toy). The flared base ensures that the toy won’t go too far up inside the body and if it does go in too far, it may necessitate an unpleasant visit to the emergency room.

Strokers and Penis Rings

The most popular stroker is known as the Fleshlight but these days there are dozens of options to choose from. Some are heated or vibrating, some are textured, and all of them are fun ways to enhance penis play! Another popular sex toy commonly used by people with penises are penis rings which “slow blood flow out of the penis when it’s erect, which can increase sensation, or make your erection harder and longer-lasting.” 

Finally, something incredibly important to take into account during your sex toy search is that sex toys are not carefully regulated like food or medication products so it’s up to the individual consumer to ensure safety. Here are some things you should look for in terms of safety. Do NOT purchase sex toys from websites like Amazon or eBay as they have been known to sell inauthentic and even used items. Some reputable sex toy shops that you can start with are below. Happy sex toy hunting!    

3 Things to Know About Cervical Health

In celebration of January’s Cervical Health Awareness Month, we are sharing 3 things to know about the cervix and cervical health.

1. What is the cervix?

The cervix is the lowest part of the uterus, which attaches the uterus to the vagina. It consists of the ectocervix, which is the external part of the cervix that protrudes into the vaginal canal, and the endocervix, which is the tunnel from the inside of the uterus to the ectocervix’s central opening to provide passage between vagina and uterus. 

The cervix’s function is to secrete mucus that facilitates the entrance of sperm into the uterus. Some hormonal contraception works by thickening the cervical mucus to bar sperm from the endocervix.

2. HPV is closely linked to cervical cancer

Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is a group of viruses passed through skin-to-skin contact is the most common sexually transmitted infection. Certain types of HPV are known to be the primary risk factor for cervical cancer. The good news is most cases of HPV do not develop into cervical cancer. However, it is important to know the risks of HPV, and to protect yourself via regular STI screening, the HPV vaccine, and communication about safety protocols with your sexual partner(s). 

Each year, around 14,000 cases of cervical cancer are diagnosed, making it the fourth most common type of cancer for people with uteruses worldwide. This is why cervical care is an integral part of overall health maintenance. Two of the best ways you can take care of your cervix are by getting regular Pap smears and regular STI screenings. 

3. Regular pap smears can help detect cervical cancer early

A Pap smear tests for cancerous and precancerous cells in the cervix. People age 21-65 years old generally speaking should have routine Pap smears every three years. It is recommended to get tested for HPV during a pap smear as follows by Planned Parenthood: 

  • “If you’re 21–24 years old: you can choose to get a Pap test every 3 years, or you can wait until you’re 25 years old to start getting tested.

  • If you’re 25–65 years old: get an HPV test every 5 years, or a Pap test and HPV test together (co-testing) every 5 years. In some places where HPV testing is less available, you may get only a Pap test every 3 years.

  • If you’re older than 65: you may not need HPV/Pap tests anymore.”

During a pap smear, the patient lies down on an exam table and the health practitioner will insert a speculum into the vaginal canal and open it to see the cervix. They will then insert a stick or soft brush to collect cells from the surface of and inside the cervix and vagina. They are typically not painful, but may cause mild discomfort. 

These routine health measures are important for taking care of your cervical health. You can learn more about Cervical Cancer Awareness Month here.

3 Steps For Setting Sexual Wellness Intentions

Happy 2022! After the trials and tribulations of the last few years, it’s more important than ever to intentionally focus on one’s wellness to avoid burnout. Around the new year, there are frequent conversations about transformation and resolution setting. Before diving into how to set sexual wellness intentions for the new year, it’s important to preface that if resolution-setting doesn’t help you, there is nothing wrong with not doing so. Just staying afloat in chronically stressful societal conditions is a feat in and of itself so if that’s all you have the capacity for, that is more than enough. For those who are yes to sexual wellness goals for the new year, here are 3 steps that can help guide your intention setting.

1. Understand what sexual wellness is and what it looks like for you
Before jumping in, it is important to understand what sexual wellness is. 

What is sexual wellness? 
Sexual wellness is emotional and physical satisfaction with regard to one’s sexuality and sexual life. Goals around sexual wellness can be oriented toward one’s sexual relationship with themselves, or with others. Intentionality is an important part of cultivating sexual wellness and forces perpetual self-reevaluation of boundaries and desires. This knowledge is key to reaching sexual wellness goals.

2. Reflect on your current sexual wellness; what is working and what could be improved

Before setting your intentions, it is a good idea to gauge the current status of your sexual wellness and identify areas where you are already satisfied and areas where you’d like to improve. Use these questions to guide your self-reflection:

Questions for reflecting on your sexual wellness

  • Are you generally satisfied with your current sex life? What do you enjoy about it? What, if anything, do you dislike about it or wish was different? 

  • Do you have shame around sex and/or your appearance? Where does it come from? How does it affect your sex life, if at all? 

  • Are you affected by any sexual trauma? Is there any part of that trauma that you’d like to process with a therapist before working on sexual wellness intentions? (Note: focusing on addressing trauma can be a sexual wellness intention, too!)

  • What sexual activities or relationship dynamics do you want to try out that you haven’t yet? What have you already tried, and what did you learn about yourself from those experiences? 

  • If you have sex involving other people, do you trust and like those people? Do they meet your sexual needs? How is your communication about and during sex? 

  • Do you already dedicate attention to your own pleasure?

3. Choose your intentions and plan how you’ll achieve them

Once you have a good idea of your sexual needs, boundaries, and desires, use that information to decide what you want your intentions to be. Below is a non-exclusive list of intentions and specific actions you can take to work toward them.

Intention ideas 

-To focus on the journey, not the destination

  • Be more present in your body and with your partner

  • Make the goal of sex be pleasure and connection rather than orgasm

  • Experiment and try out things you’re curious about

-To be honor your needs and your pleasure

  • Don’t lie about having an orgasm if you didn’t

  • Ask for what you want and need from your partner in sexual encounters

  • Don’t leave it to chance; schedule sex and/or masturbation sessions

-To try new things

  • Use more “sexcessories” like lubricant and sex toys

  • Do more kegels

  • Read more erotica 

This is all a starting point to inspire your intention-setting but everyone’s sexual wellness looks different and will need different types of nurturing. Regardless of whether or not you choose to set intentions for the new year, be sure to take care of your overall wellness, including sexual wellness, regardless. Setting sexual wellness intentions can be done on your own or with a partner. You may also want to consider speaking with a sex therapist if you need help with any of the steps above. If you live in Illinois, Embrace Sexual Wellness can help. Contact us HERE