What Do You Look for in a Therapist?

Finding a therapist is no easy feat. From insurance to personality compatibility to coordinating schedules, searching for the right mental health professional can be understandably overwhelming. This article is meant to guide you through the process, covering how to find the right fit, how to tell if they’re the right fit, and how to measure quality of care.

Where to begin your search

• Word of mouth is a great way to find therapists in your area, especially if the recommendation comes from someone who knows you and your needs well. If you do want to pursue a recommendation from a friend, make sure you check that it’s not a conflict of interest to see the same therapist. 

• If you are insured, a good place to start is your insurance company’s directory of in-network professionals. 

• If you are uninsured or you’re looking for alternative search engine options, here are some alternative places to look for a therapist.

  • Open Path Collective

    1. “Open Path Psychotherapy Collective is a nonprofit nationwide network of mental health professionals dedicated to providing in-office and online mental health care—at a steeply reduced rate—to clients in need.” 

  • Inclusive Therapists

    1. “Seeking therapy can be a vulnerable process. We understand. We aim to make it simpler and safer for people in marginalized communities. Find a culturally responsive, 2SLGBTQ+ affirming therapist that celebrates your full identity” 

  • APA Psychologist Locator

    1. APA is the leading scientific and professional organization representing psychology in the United States, with more than 133,000 researchers, educators, clinicians, consultants, and students as its members.

  • TherapyDen

    1. “We are an online community of mental health professionals seeking to make the experience of finding a therapist easy.” 

  • Therapy For Black Girls

    1. “So often the stigma surrounding mental health issues and therapy prevents Black women from taking the step of seeing a therapist. This space was developed to present mental health topics in a way that feels more accessible and relevant.”

Considerations for your search parameters

• Finding the name of a therapist is one thing, but it’s an entire other thing to find a therapist who works for you and your needs.  

• When you’re considering what might make a therapist a good fit for you, think first of whether or not you have any identity preferences such as gender or race that would allow a therapist to relate to certain experiences. 

• Before meeting with a therapist, try to do initial phone screenings of several options to ask about their specialties, whether they have experience with your specific issues, what structure their sessions usually follow, and any other information that you might need. 

• Logistical factors you may need to take into consideration are location, cost, mutual schedule availability, and the therapist’s availability outside of sessions, such as for emergencies. 

How to tell if they’re the right fit

• You feel comfortable being vulnerable around them (at least relative to others)

•  They have strong, clearly communicated boundaries about their policies and personal life

• You are able to share concerns about the therapeutic relationship and they respond with openness and a desire to problem solve 

• They respect your values and identity 

• They guide you to your goals and coach you to be able to make your own decisions 

• They challenge you in constructive ways. For example, they might ask you to reconsider a self-deprecating statement and work to get to the root of the thought in order to unpack it

Signs that they’re not a good fit

• They judge you or shame you 

• They have no experience with your issue(s)

• They overshare about themselves

• They tell you what to do rather than guiding you to make your own decisions

• You regularly feel worse after your session

It will take some time to find a therapist who works for you and when you’re in need of help, that can be discouraging. Perhaps try asking a trusted friend or family member to aid you in your search and/or ask them to sit with you for moral support while you do it. Once you do find a good therapist, it will be worth it. Simply wanting to seek help is a huge first step so show yourself gratitude for taking the time to read this. If you are seeking therapy for concerns related to sexuality or your relationships, consider reaching out to Embrace Sexual Wellness to see if our team might be a good fit for you. 

3 Reasons to Seek Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a therapeutic niche that addresses a wide range of sexuality-related concerns. Sexuality is a central part of being human so it makes sense that there is a need for professionals to guide us through issues pertaining to such a personal and important subject. Even the most knowledgable people about sexuality and relationships can benefit from having a neutral third party to work through internalized biases and judgments, relationship issues, sexual and gender identity, and more. Here are some reasons why you may seek a sex therapist:

You’re processing sexual trauma

Did you know that every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted? Sexual assault is probably the first thing that comes to mind when you think of sexual trauma and while sexual trauma does include assault, it encapsulates more than that. It also includes issues such as chronic objectification and sexual shaming, sexual harassment like being catcalled, and both physical and emotional incest. These are complex, damaging traumas that left untreated can lead to depression and anxiety, among other issues. Sex therapists can help you work through your sexual trauma and any associated issues.

You’re unsatisfied with the state of your sex life and/or relationship as a whole

Sex therapy is a great resource for both individuals and people in a relationship working through sex and relationship issues. Humans are imperfect and therefore so are our relationships. Sometimes relationship and/or sex life tension start feeling insurmountable, which is where a sex therapist comes in. They can help individuals identify their wants and needs and work through sexual dissatisfaction. For people in relationships seeking treatment together, a therapist can mediate a discussion where all partners can have a say and be heard, facilitating a hopefully effective and kind dialogue.

You have difficulty achieving orgasm or arousal

There is nothing wrong with struggling to achieve orgasm or arousal. That being said, if it bothers you, you might consider seeking out a sex therapist after identifying or ruling out any physical causes. A therapist can help you pinpoint the source of the difficulty and work through it with you. Even if you are unable to “fix” the issue, a good therapist can hopefully help you find ways to have a healthy, fulfilling sex life.

These are just a few examples of what sex therapy can be helpful for. If you’re unsure if sex therapy is right for you or where to start, reach out to ESW team to see if we may be a fit for you.

3 ways to be an Educated Consumer of Mental Health Information Online

A study by McKinsey found that Gen Zers have the least positive life outlook. The COVID-19 pandemic has only exacerbated the already widespread mental health issues of young people. Social media has been a resource for education and connection surrounding mental wellness but it can be tough to parse the helpful from the not so helpful. The internet is a treasure trove of information, but unfortunately not all of it is accurate, especially on social media. With the right presentation and delivery, it isn’t difficult to convey convincing information regardless of how truthful it is. Furthermore, in the context of an isolating global crisis, everyone is desperate for connection and community so it may be easier to ignore warning signs of misinformation in search of that connection. While it’s great that social media allows us to have larger conversations about mental health and coping, those positive effects are undermined by misinformation. 

There is nothing shameful about trusting an inaccurate source. It’s important, however, to make sure that any information about mental health, especially if it’s actionable, is factual and helpful for a particular individual. As the Psychiatric Times explains, “media pollution, which can intensify anxiety… as well as contribute to unsuccessful therapies… is inextricably linked to misinformation and false news.” So not only is mental health misinformation irresponsible to spread, but also actively harmful. On that note, you should ensure that everything you share in addition to consume is accurate, to the best of your ability. Unfortunately, one study found that “experiencing clinical depression was still strongly associated with an increased likelihood of endorsing misinformation” which makes it even more difficult to parse through. Here are some suggestions that may help you navigate this complicated landscape:

Don't take things at face value; question them!

Some good questions to ask yourself when you come across a dubious post are:

• Is this the original account, article, or piece of content?

• Who shared this or created it?

• When was this created?

• What account is sharing this? When was the account created? Do they share things from all over the world at all times during the day and night? Could this be a bot?

• Why was this shared?

Use fact checking websites

Websites like Snopes, Health News Review, and Politifact are made specifically for fact checking. These are great first stops in your fact checking journey. The non-profit Bellingcat also has an amazing compilation of “online investigation” resources that cover the verification of images, social media posts, news articles, and more.

When in doubt, ask for help

If you look into the information at hand and still aren’t sure how true it is, check in with a trusted friend, or therapist perhaps one versed in mental health and psychology. 

It can be intimidating to wade through the dizzying amount of mental health misinformation but with these skills and tips, you’ll be better equipped to parse through it. Luckily, in addition to the misinformation, we also have tons of resources at our fingertips to verify it as long as we’re willing to take the time. Happy fact checking!