Benefits of Mutual Masturbation

Masturbation and partnered sex each have their own distinct appeals, but did you know that you can combine the two and mutually masturbate with your partner(s)? Mutual masturbation is the practice of two (or more) people masturbating simultaneously in each others’ presence, either over video call or in the same room.

Some benefits to mutual masturbation are learning more about how your partner(s) like to be touched, being able to simultaneously orgasm, and it’s nearly impossible to get pregnant or catch an STI. If you want to try it out, here are some ideas for good positions when you’re together in person. You can also integrate sex toys to take it to the next level, whether you’re in the same place or not. Another fun way to structure your mutual masturbation is by watching porn together; this has the added bonus of sharing sexual interests by sharing your favorite porn.     

Mutual masturbation can be a fun way to vary your sex and masturbation habits but that it also comes with challenges. The major challenge that many people face when trying mutual masturbation is performance anxiety. Since masturbation is a vulnerable act that is most often practiced solo, it can take some adjusting in order to enjoy it in the presence of another person. 

Performance anxiety can occur in any kind of sex, but mutual masturbation is particularly intimidating for many people. Even beyond the societally ingrained shame surrounding enjoying sexual acts, being able to truly lean into and take pleasure from masturbating in front of others requires becoming comfortable with the intense vulnerability it implies. First of all, it’s a good idea to sit down with your partner(s) and layout everyone’s concerns and insecurities on the table. Just the act of sharing these vulnerable thoughts can help make you more comfortable with the idea. In terms of tangible steps for combatting performance anxiety, one way is to have your partner and/or yourself wear a blindfold or turning off the lights. Another important way to take some of the pressure off is to not expect an orgasm; it’s much more fruitful to focus on the pleasurable sensations and being in the moment and if an orgasm happens, it’s a happy bonus! If you struggle to stay in the moment, check out Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are to learn about sexual mindfulness. For a rundown of mindfulness exercises as a general concept outside of sex, check out this article. 

Ultimately, mutual masturbation is another version of sexual collaboration with your partner(s) and it has the potential to bring you closer, learn more about each others’ sexual likes and interests, and, over time, diminish sexual performance anxiety. As with any kind of sex, there is no right or wrong way to mutually masturbate as long as everyone is consenting and having a good time.      

4 Types of Pleasure Devices That Can Enhance Your Sex Life

Pleasure devices (aka: sex toys) are great tools that can enhance communication and pleasure in the bedroom. Sometimes buying one can be an intimidating task with so many options and a lack of information available due to stigma. Never fear though because Embrace Sexual Wellness has compiled a buying guide to help you find the best match for your personal needs.

First of all, you need to identify what is important to you in a sex toy. Here are some questions you should ask yourself before embarking on your search: 

1. Do you want to be able to use this toy on just yourself, or with partners too? (If you plan on sharing, make sure you take appropriate safety precautions). 

2. Do you have any sensitivities to materials like silicone or latex that need to be taken into consideration?

3. What’s your budget? 

4. Are you interested in something that vibrates or not?

5. Do you need a toy that is waterproof to take in the bath or shower?

6. If you’re interested in vibration, do you want pinpointed sensations or broader stimulation? 

Once you have your answers, you can begin your search in earnest. To get you started, let’s talk about the most popular kinds of sex toys. Please note that regardless of what toys you opt for, it’s essential to take care of them properly. Here is a helpful guide that goes over how to clean sex toys. 

Dildos

Dildos are insertable objects that are most commonly phallic shaped but there are also tons of fantasy and abstract options available too! They come in all sizes, shapes, and colors. Some are smooth, while others have texture. Some vibrate and some don’t. Some can attach to a wearer like a strap–on, while others are handheld. Some even have suction cups so they can stick to flat surfaces like a shower or a bedroom wall. Dildos are a highly versatile item that can be used for penetration, for external stimulation or rubbing on the genitals, or even for gender affirmation.

Vibrators

Vibrators are “objects that vibrate (move continuously/buzz) to stimulate your genitals. Vibrators are often used on genitals but can really be used anywhere that feels good on any anatomy! Popular types of vibrators are bullet, suction, and wand. Bullet vibrators are good for pinpointed stimulation and portability; suction vibrators are a unique sensation that is distinct from other vibrators because they use air pulsation instead or in addition to vibration; and wand vibrators, perhaps the most well known, are good for high powered broad stimulation.

Anal Toys

From butt plugs to anal beads to anal-sex-specific dildos, anal toys come in all shapes and sizes. Here is a guide detailing the differences between your options. Regardless of what you opt for, EVERY anal toy you use must have a flared base (a base that is significantly wider than the insertable portion of the toy). The flared base ensures that the toy won’t go too far up inside the body and if it does go in too far, it may necessitate an unpleasant visit to the emergency room.

Strokers and Penis Rings

The most popular stroker is known as the Fleshlight but these days there are dozens of options to choose from. Some are heated or vibrating, some are textured, and all of them are fun ways to enhance penis play! Another popular sex toy commonly used by people with penises are penis rings which “slow blood flow out of the penis when it’s erect, which can increase sensation, or make your erection harder and longer-lasting.” 

Finally, something incredibly important to take into account during your sex toy search is that sex toys are not carefully regulated like food or medication products so it’s up to the individual consumer to ensure safety. Here are some things you should look for in terms of safety. Do NOT purchase sex toys from websites like Amazon or eBay as they have been known to sell inauthentic and even used items. Some reputable sex toy shops that you can start with are below. Happy sex toy hunting!    

• Spectrum Boutique

• Nox Shop

• Unbound

• FeelMore Adult

• Enby

• Ardentley

• Wink Wink Boutique

• SheBop 

• Good Vibes 

• Smitten Kitten

• Peepshow Toys

• Honey Play Box

• Early to Bed

3 Things to Know About Cervical Health

In celebration of January’s Cervical Health Awareness Month, we are sharing 3 things to know about the cervix and cervical health.

1. What is the cervix?

The cervix is the lowest part of the uterus, which attaches the uterus to the vagina. It consists of the ectocervix, which is the external part of the cervix that protrudes into the vaginal canal, and the endocervix, which is the tunnel from the inside of the uterus to the ectocervix’s central opening to provide passage between vagina and uterus. 

The cervix’s function is to secrete mucus that facilitates the entrance of sperm into the uterus. Some hormonal contraception works by thickening the cervical mucus to bar sperm from the endocervix.

2. HPV is closely linked to cervical cancer

Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is a group of viruses passed through skin-to-skin contact is the most common sexually transmitted infection. Certain types of HPV are known to be the primary risk factor for cervical cancer. The good news is most cases of HPV do not develop into cervical cancer. However, it is important to know the risks of HPV, and to protect yourself via regular STI screening, the HPV vaccine, and communication about safety protocols with your sexual partner(s). 

Each year, around 14,000 cases of cervical cancer are diagnosed, making it the fourth most common type of cancer for people with uteruses worldwide. This is why cervical care is an integral part of overall health maintenance. Two of the best ways you can take care of your cervix are by getting regular Pap smears and regular STI screenings. 

3. Regular pap smears can help detect cervical cancer early

A Pap smear tests for cancerous and precancerous cells in the cervix. People age 21-65 years old generally speaking should have routine Pap smears every three years. It is recommended to get tested for HPV during a pap smear as follows by Planned Parenthood: 

• “If you’re 21–24 years old: you can choose to get a Pap test every 3 years, or you can wait until you’re 25 years old to start getting tested.

• If you’re 25–65 years old: get an HPV test every 5 years, or a Pap test and HPV test together (co-testing) every 5 years. In some places where HPV testing is less available, you may get only a Pap test every 3 years.

• If you’re older than 65: you may not need HPV/Pap tests anymore.”

During a pap smear, the patient lies down on an exam table and the health practitioner will insert a speculum into the vaginal canal and open it to see the cervix. They will then insert a stick or soft brush to collect cells from the surface of and inside the cervix and vagina. They are typically not painful, but may cause mild discomfort. 

These routine health measures are important for taking care of your cervical health. You can learn more about Cervical Cancer Awareness Month here.