The “Sex Recession”: Are People Really Having Less Sex, and What Does That Mean for You?

The “Sex Recession”: Are People Really Having Less Sex, and What Does That Mean for You?

If you have noticed that sex feels less frequent than it used to, or less present than you imagine it should be, you may have wondered whether something is wrong with you or your relationship. The honest answer from the data is: probably not. Because if the research is accurate, you are in very large company.

The term “sex recession” has been circulating in journalism and public health conversations for several years, and in 2025 it received a significant new round of attention following the release of data from the 2024 General Social Survey (GSS), one of the longest-running and most rigorous sociological datasets in the United States. What it showed was striking, and worth understanding carefully before drawing conclusions about what it means for you personally.

What the Data Actually Shows

According to the 2024 General Social Survey by the Institute for Family Studies, 55% of U.S. adults aged 18 to 64 reported having sex weekly in 1990. By 2010 that figure had fallen below 50%. By 2024 it had dropped to just 37%. That is nearly a 20-point decline over a single generation.

The decline is not evenly distributed. Young adults have been most affected. Among adults aged 18 to 29, approximately 24% reported having no sex in the past year as of 2024, a figure that has doubled since 2010. The share of young adults living with a partner, whether married or cohabiting, fell from 42% in 2014 to 32% in 2024, which researchers point to as a primary structural driver of the decline. Less cohabitation means fewer people with a readily available sexual partner, and partnered status is one of the strongest predictors of sexual frequency.

Even among married couples, the trend is present. Between 1996 and 2008, 59% of married adults aged 18 to 64 reported weekly sex. From 2010 to 2024, that figure fell to 49%. The sex recession is not solely a story about single people or young adults. It is a broader shift in the landscape of sexual activity across American life.

What Is Driving the Decline?

Researchers have proposed several overlapping explanations for why sexual frequency has fallen across the population. No single cause accounts for all of it, and the drivers appear to interact with one another:

•  Delayed and declining partnering. As noted above, cohabitation rates among young adults have fallen significantly. Fewer people living with partners means fewer people in the primary context where sexual frequency is highest. Later marriage, more years of being single, and greater acceptance of solo living all contribute.

•  Digital displacement of social time. Average weekly social time with others fell from 12.8 hours in 2010 to 6.5 hours by 2019, and dropped further to approximately 5 hours by 2024. Researchers have pointed to the role of screens, social media, and streaming in displacing the evening hours once spent with partners. The pattern follows closely on the widespread adoption of smartphones after 2010.

•  Rising rates of anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Mental health difficulties, which have increased substantially among younger generations, have well-documented effects on sexual desire, relationship formation, and the motivation to seek intimacy. The increase in sexlessness among young adults tracks closely with the rise in reported mental health symptoms in the same population and period.

•  Economic and housing pressures. Financial stress, extended periods of education and training, and housing costs that make independent living more difficult all affect relationship formation timelines, which in turn affect sexual frequency.

•  Post-pandemic social erosion. The COVID-19 pandemic accelerated trends in social withdrawal and digital substitution for in-person contact that were already underway. Social and relational recovery has been slow and uneven.

The More Important Question: Does Frequency Actually Matter?

Here is where the cultural conversation about the sex recession tends to go off the rails, and where a clinical perspective is most useful. The framing of a “recession” implies that more is better and that less is a deficit to be corrected. The research does not fully support that framing.

A widely cited study by Muise, Schimmack, and Impett, drawing on data from over 30,000 participants across three studies, found sexual frequency is associated with wellbeing up to approximately once per week, but that beyond that threshold, additional frequency produced no significant additional benefit. The study found a curvilinear rather than a linear relationship suggesting wellbeing benefits from going from no sex to some sex, but not from going from some sex to a lot of sex. And critically, for people not in relationships, sexual frequency had no significant association with wellbeing at all. The benefits tracked almost entirely with relationship context.

Perhaps more important is what the research says about sexual quality versus sexual quantity. A 2023 longitudinal study tracking over 2,100 couples found sexual satisfaction predicted future increases in both relationship satisfaction and sexual frequency, but that relationship satisfaction did not predict future changes in sexual satisfaction. In other words, satisfaction drives frequency more reliably than frequency drives satisfaction. A couple having less sex but experiencing that sex as meaningful and connected will likely fare better over time than a couple having frequent but disconnected sex.

The question worth asking about your own relationship is not whether you are having as much sex as you used to, or as much as some implied cultural norm. It is whether the sexual connection you do have feels satisfying, intimate, and mutually desired. If the answer is yes, a lower frequency may simply reflect your life stage, your shared demands, and your priorities, none of which require clinical intervention.

When Lower Frequency Is Worth Paying Attention To

That said, there are circumstances where declining sexual frequency is a meaningful signal rather than a neutral trend, and it is worth distinguishing between them.

•  When the decline is accompanied by distress. If one or both partners are unhappy about the change in frequency, or if lower frequency is generating conflict, resentment, or distance, that is a clinical concern worth addressing. Frequency itself is not the problem; the distress around it is.

•  When desire has changed without explanation. A shift in sexual interest that feels sudden, unexplained, or disproportionate to life circumstances may warrant a medical evaluation to rule out hormonal or other physical contributors, as well as a conversation with a sex therapist about psychological or relational factors.

•  When avoidance has replaced desire. There is an important difference between two people who are satisfied with a less frequent but connected sexual relationship, and two people who have stopped initiating because intimacy has come to feel uncomfortable, anxiety-provoking, or too laden with history. The latter is avoidance, and it typically reflects something that benefits from professional attention.

•  When desire discrepancy is causing real strain. If one partner wants significantly more sex than the other, and attempts to navigate this are generating hurt, withdrawal, or persistent frustration, couples therapy and sex therapy can help both partners understand the underlying dynamics and find a path that works for both of them.

What This Means If You Are Navigating It Personally

The sex recession is a population-level trend, not a verdict on any individual couple or person. Reading the data through the lens of your own relationship requires holding two things at once: the knowledge that declining frequency is normal and widespread, and the clinical awareness that when declining frequency is accompanied by distress, avoidance, shame, or relational damage, it is something that can be understood and addressed.

If you are single and the data resonates with your experience of loneliness or disconnection, that is worth taking seriously as a wellbeing concern, not simply a sexual one. The research on social isolation, loneliness, and mental health is clear that connection is a fundamental human need, and that its absence has real consequences for physical and psychological health across the lifespan.

If you are in a relationship and have noticed a decline that bothers you or your partner, the most useful frame is not frequency but meaning: what does sex represent in your relationship? What has changed around it? And, what would a connected sexual relationship actually look and feel like for both of you? Those are some questions a sex therapist is specifically trained to help couples explore.

You Are Not Behind, But You May Need Support

The sex recession is real, it is broadly documented, and it reflects structural changes in how people live, partner, and spend their time. But it does not tell you what is right for your relationship, and it does not mean that declining frequency is inevitable or irreversible. Sexual wellbeing is not a fixed trait. It is something that can be tended to, understood, and restored with the right support.

At Embrace Sexual Wellness, our Chicago-based sex therapists work with individuals and couples navigating every dimension of sexual wellbeing, including those who are simply trying to understand what has changed and what, if anything, to do about it. We bring clinical expertise, current research literacy, and genuine warmth to every conversation.

If something has shifted in your sexual life and you are trying to make sense of it, we invite you to schedule a free 10-minute phone consultation. You do not need to be in crisis to benefit from a thoughtful conversation with someone who knows this territory.

Can You Do Sex Therapy Alone, Without a Partner?

Can You Do Sex Therapy Alone, Without a Partner?

One of the most common reasons people delay seeking sex therapy is the assumption that they cannot go alone. They are not currently in a relationship, or their partner is not willing to participate, or they feel the issues they are carrying are personal in ways that do not involve anyone else. So they wait. They assume sex therapy is a couples activity, that a partner’s presence is required to make the work meaningful, and that their concerns do not quite qualify.

This assumption is understandable but incorrect, and it keeps a significant number of people from getting support they genuinely need. Research on help-seeking for sexual concerns consistently identifies the perceived requirement of partner involvement as one of the most significant barriers to accessing care. A 2023 study examining who seeks sex therapy found that among community members who sought professional services for sexual difficulties, over 58% reported at least one barrier to receiving help, with partner reluctance and access concerns among the most cited.

Sex therapy is available to individuals, and for many people it is the most appropriate and effective format. Understanding when individual sex therapy makes sense, and how it differs from couples work, can open a door that many people did not realize was there.

Sex Therapy Has Always Been Available to Individuals

The historical image of sex therapy as a process requiring two people in a room together is a popular misconception, not a clinical reality. Sex therapy can be conducted on an individual basis with any adult client, regardless of relationship status, gender, sexual orientation, or whether a partner is involved in any aspect of their life.

Individual sex therapy addresses the person in the room: their history, their beliefs about sex and their body, their emotional relationship with desire and intimacy, their specific functional concerns, and the internal world that shapes all of those things. A partner does not need to be present for that work to be clinically meaningful or practically effective.

In fact, for certain presentations, individual therapy is not just an option. It is the preferred starting point.

When Individual Sex Therapy Is the Right Fit

There are clear and well-recognized clinical reasons to pursue individual sex therapy, whether or not a partner is part of your current life. The most common include:

•  Your partner is unwilling to attend. If your partner is not ready or willing to engage in therapy, that does not mean you have to wait. You can begin individual work to understand your own experience, clarify what you want, and make meaningful progress on your own. Some clients find that their individual growth eventually creates a shift that opens the door for couples work later. Others find that individual therapy gives them the clarity and confidence they need regardless of how their relationship evolves.

•  You are not currently in a relationship. Single people experience sexual concerns, and those concerns deserve attention. Low desire, difficulty with arousal, sexual anxiety, a history of painful sex, or simply wanting to understand yourself better as a sexual person are all legitimate reasons to seek support independent of relationship status.

•  The issues you are carrying are primarily personal. Some sexual concerns are rooted in individual history, not relational dynamics. Sexual shame, body image struggles, questions about sexual identity, the impact of religious or cultural messaging about sex, or a history of sexual trauma are examples of presentations where individual therapy is not just appropriate but often essential before relational work can be productive.

•  You experienced sexual trauma. Healing from sexual trauma is fundamentally individual work. A review on sexual issues in treating trauma survivors found psychoeducation, shame reduction, and therapeutic processing of trauma-related beliefs about sexuality are critical components of recovery, none of which require a partner’s presence in the room.

•  You want to understand your own sexuality before bringing a partner into the work. Many people find it useful to develop a clearer personal foundation before addressing relational dynamics. Individual therapy creates the space to do that without the added complexity of navigating a partner’s reactions or needs simultaneously.

•  You are questioning your sexual identity. Exploring questions about orientation, gender, or sexual interests in a confidential, nonjudgmental space is work that belongs to the individual. This is not couples territory, at least not initially.

What Individual Sex Therapy Actually Looks Like

Individual sex therapy is talk therapy, conducted in a fully clothed, professionally boundaried setting. There is no physical contact between therapist and client, and no sexual activity of any kind takes place in sessions.

What does happen is a structured, collaborative exploration of the concerns you bring, drawing on evidence-based approaches tailored to your specific presentation. Depending on what you are working on, individual sex therapy may involve:

•  Psychoeducation. Building accurate, shame-free knowledge about sexual anatomy, the arousal cycle, sexual response patterns, and the many factors that influence desire and function. For many people, simply having correct information reframes experiences they had interpreted as abnormal or broken.

•  Cognitive behavioral approaches. Identifying and challenging thought patterns that fuel sexual anxiety, shame, avoidance, or negative self-perception. This includes working with the internal critic, reframing unhelpful beliefs about what sex is supposed to look or feel like, and interrupting cycles of anticipatory anxiety.

•  Mindfulness-based techniques. Developing present-moment awareness and the ability to stay connected to physical sensation without the interference of self-monitoring, judgment, or dissociation.

•  Exploration of history and narrative. Understanding how your family of origin, cultural background, religious upbringing, or past experiences have shaped your relationship with sex and your body, and beginning to revise the parts of that story that are no longer serving you.

•  Trauma-informed processing. For clients with a history of sexual trauma, individual therapy provides a safe container for addressing the specific ways that trauma has affected sexual functioning, identity, and intimacy, at a pace that is determined by the client, not by a partner’s readiness.

•  Skills and practices for solo application. Individual sex therapy may include exercises or practices to engage with outside of sessions, adapted for someone working independently rather than with a partner.

How Individual Sex Therapy Differs from Couples Work

Understanding the difference between individual and couples sex therapy helps you choose the right format from the outset, or know when to transition between them.

Individual sex therapy focuses on the internal world of the person seeking help: their history, beliefs, functional concerns, emotional relationship with sexuality, and personal goals. The therapist has one client, one set of experiences to hold, and one person’s wellbeing to center. This allows for deeper, more personal exploration and a level of confidentiality and focus that couples work cannot always provide.

Couples sex therapy focuses on the relationship as the unit of treatment. The therapist holds space for two people simultaneously, attending to interaction patterns, communication dynamics, desire discrepancy, the relational impact of sexual concerns, and the shared experience of intimacy. Couples work is most effective when both partners are willing participants and when the primary drivers of the sexual concern are relational rather than individual.

These formats are not mutually exclusive. In fact, a common and productive trajectory is for one or both partners to do individual work first, then transition into couples therapy once each person has a clearer personal foundation. Some clinicians offer both modalities and can help you navigate when and how to make that shift.

It is also worth noting that sexual concerns do not disappear simply because someone enters a relationship or because their partner is present in the room. A 2023 study found that cognitive and emotional factors, including patterns of repetitive negative thinking, emotional regulation difficulties, and internalized shame, are key individual-level drivers of sexual distress that require individual-level intervention, regardless of relational context.

You Do Not Need a Partner to Deserve Support

There is something worth naming directly: the assumption that sex therapy requires a partner can carry an implicit message that solo sexual wellbeing is less legitimate, less urgent, or less worthy of professional attention. That message is wrong.

Sexual health is a component of overall health. The World Health Organization defines sexual health as a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social wellbeing in relation to sexuality, not merely the absence of dysfunction. Research on sexual shame consistently shows that internalized shame about one’s sexuality is associated with depression, reduced self-efficacy, relational dysfunction, and poor overall mental health outcomes. These are individual experiences with individual consequences, and they respond to individual intervention.

You do not need to be partnered to want a healthier relationship with your own sexuality. You do not need a willing co-participant to begin that work. And you do not need to be in crisis to deserve a knowledgeable, nonjudgmental professional to help you understand what you are experiencing and where you want to go.

Ready to Start on Your Own Terms?

At Embrace Sexual Wellness, we work with individuals as well as couples, and we take both modalities equally seriously. Our Chicago-based sex therapists have experience with the full range of presentations that bring individuals to individual therapy: sexual trauma, shame, identity, desire concerns, functional difficulties, and everything in between. We also have experience helping clients navigate when and whether to transition from individual to couples work.

If you have been waiting because you thought you needed a partner to begin, you do not. Schedule a free 10-minute phone consultation today and find out how individual sex therapy can support you, exactly where you are.

What Is Vulvodynia and Can Sex Therapy Help?

What Is Vulvodynia and Can Sex Therapy Help?

Many women who experience pain during sex spend years searching for an explanation before they find one. They see multiple providers. They are told nothing is wrong. They are told to use more lubricant, to relax, to try a different position. Some are told the pain is in their head. By the time they receive a diagnosis, if they ever do, many have already begun avoiding sex altogether, withdrawing from intimacy, and quietly wondering whether this is simply how their body works.

If any of this resonates, it is worth knowing about vulvodynia. It is one of the most common and most underdiagnosed causes of painful sex in women, and it has evidence-based treatments that most people never learn about. A 2025 review found vulvodynia affects an estimated 10% to 28% of individuals worldwide, yet it remains significantly under-recognized and underresearched relative to its prevalence and the burden it places on women’s lives.

Sex therapy is one of those evidence-based treatments. Understanding what vulvodynia is, why it persists, and how psychological intervention fits into comprehensive care can be genuinely life-changing for women who have been living with this condition without adequate support.

What Is Vulvodynia?

Vulvodynia is defined as chronic vulvar pain lasting at least three months without a clearly identifiable cause such as infection, skin disease, or neurological disorder. The pain is typically described as burning, stinging, rawness, or sharp discomfort localized to the vulvar region, and it can occur spontaneously or only in response to touch or pressure.

The most common subtype, particularly in premenopausal women, is provoked vestibulodynia (PVD), sometimes also called vulvar vestibulitis. PVD involves pain specifically at the vulvar vestibule, the tissue at the entrance to the vagina, triggered by contact such as sexual penetration, tampon insertion, or gynecological examination. For many women, this pain makes sexual intercourse impossible or so aversive that they stop attempting it entirely.

Despite how common this is, the diagnosis is frequently delayed or missed. A 2013 study found among women meeting diagnostic criteria for vulvodynia, only 1.4% had ever been formally diagnosed. Women were experiencing this condition in significant numbers while most remained undiagnosed and untreated.

This is not a failure of the women. It is a failure of awareness, training, and the historical tendency to dismiss female pain as psychological or exaggerated rather than clinical and worthy of investigation.

What Causes Vulvodynia?

Vulvodynia does not have a single identified cause, which is part of what makes it clinically complex and part of why it has historically been misunderstood. Current research points to a multifactorial picture involving several interacting factors:

•  Central and peripheral sensitization. Research increasingly supports a neurobiological model in which the nervous system becomes sensitized to pain signals in the vulvar region, meaning that stimuli that would not normally produce pain are experienced as painful. This is not imaginary pain; it reflects measurable changes in how the nervous system processes sensation.

•  Pelvic floor dysfunction. Many women with vulvodynia have elevated tension or hypertonicity in the pelvic floor muscles, which contributes to pain with penetration and can develop as a protective response to anticipated or experienced pain.

•  Psychological and relational factors. Anxiety, pain catastrophizing, a history of trauma, and relationship distress are consistently associated with vulvodynia and with its severity and persistence. These are not causes in isolation, but they interact with physical factors in ways that can maintain and amplify the condition.

•  Hormonal and inflammatory factors. Low-dose hormonal contraceptives, recurrent yeast infections, and inflammatory processes at the tissue level have all been identified as potential contributors in some cases, though the evidence base continues to develop.

This multifactorial picture is important because it shapes treatment. There is no single cure for vulvodynia precisely because there is no single cause. The most effective approaches address several of these dimensions simultaneously.

How Vulvodynia Affects Sexual and Relational Wellbeing

The impact of vulvodynia extends well beyond the physical experience of pain. Research consistently documents significant effects on sexual function, psychological wellbeing, and intimate relationships:

•  Avoidance of sex and intimacy. When sex is painful, avoidance is a natural protective response. Over time, avoidance can generalize beyond penetrative sex to any form of physical intimacy, including touch that carries no risk of pain.

•  Reduced sexual desire. Anticipatory anxiety about pain suppresses desire. The brain begins to associate sexual contexts with threat rather than pleasure, and desire can diminish significantly as a result.

•  Shame and self-blame. Many women internalize their pain as a personal failure, feeling inadequate as a sexual partner or broken in some fundamental way. These feelings are both common and entirely understandable given how poorly vulvodynia is understood and communicated in mainstream healthcare.

•  Relationship strain. Partners are also affected, experiencing their own distress, confusion, and sometimes guilt around sexual encounters. Desire discrepancy, communication breakdowns, and emotional distance frequently develop when a couple has no framework for understanding what is happening or how to navigate it together.

•  Depression and anxiety. Chronic pain conditions are closely associated with depression and anxiety, and vulvodynia is no exception. The psychological toll of living with undiagnosed or undertreated pain, compounded by the intimate nature of the affected area, can be profound.

Where Sex Therapy Fits Into Treatment

Comprehensive treatment for vulvodynia typically involves a multidisciplinary team that may include a gynecologist, a pelvic floor physiotherapist, and a sex therapist or psychologist specializing in sexual health. Each discipline addresses different dimensions of the condition, and research consistently shows that combined approaches produce better outcomes than any single treatment alone.

Sex therapy and psychological intervention address the dimensions of vulvodynia that neither medication nor physiotherapy can fully reach: the anticipatory anxiety that precedes sexual encounters, the pain catastrophizing that amplifies the pain experience, the avoidance behaviors that have developed over time, and the relational and emotional impact on the couple.

The evidence for psychological treatment is strong. A randomized pilot study from 2016 comparing cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) with physical therapy for provoked vestibulodynia found that 70% of participants in the CBT group demonstrated a clinically meaningful reduction in vulvar pain of 30% or more after treatment, with significant improvements also seen in psychosexual functioning. A 2020 clinical trial comparing CBT to mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) found that both treatments led to statistically and clinically meaningful improvements in sexual function, quality of life, and genital pain, with gains retained at both six and twelve month follow-up assessments.

In clinical practice, sex therapy for vulvodynia may draw on several specific approaches:

•  Cognitive restructuring. Identifying and challenging thought patterns that amplify pain perception or fuel avoidance, such as the belief that pain is inevitable, that something is permanently wrong, or that a partner’s needs cannot be met.

•  Mindfulness-based techniques. Cultivating present-moment awareness during sexual activity to interrupt the cycle of anticipatory anxiety and hypervigilance that can intensify pain responses.

•  Graduated exposure and sensate focus. Structured, pressure-free exercises that help women and their partners gradually reintroduce intimacy at a pace that does not trigger pain responses, rebuilding positive associations with touch and physical closeness.

•  Psychoeducation. Understanding the neurobiological basis of vulvodynia and how anxiety, avoidance, and pain interact can significantly reduce shame and help both partners approach the condition with clarity rather than fear.

•  Couples work. When a partner is involved, incorporating them into therapy helps rebuild communication, address relationship strain, and ensure that both people feel supported rather than isolated in the experience.

What to Do If You Think You Have Vulvodynia

If you experience pain during sex, pain with tampon insertion, or chronic discomfort in the vulvar area, the first step is a medical evaluation with a gynecologist who is knowledgeable about vulvar pain conditions. Not all gynecologists have specific training in vulvodynia, so it is worth asking directly about their experience with the diagnosis before your appointment.

A formal diagnosis opens the door to a coordinated treatment plan. From there, connecting with a pelvic floor physiotherapist and a sex therapist who specializes in painful sex conditions gives you access to the two disciplines that address the physical and psychological dimensions most directly.

You do not have to have been formally diagnosed to reach out to a sex therapist. If you are avoiding sex because of pain, experiencing anxiety around intimacy, or noticing the relational and emotional ripple effects of a pain condition, those are legitimate and sufficient reasons to seek support.

You Do Not Have to Accept Painful Sex as Your Normal

Vulvodynia is not a life sentence. It is a clinical condition with real, effective treatments. The research is clear that psychological intervention is a meaningful part of that treatment, and women who access comprehensive, multidisciplinary care consistently see significant improvements in pain, sexual function, and quality of life.

At Embrace Sexual Wellness, our Chicago-based sex therapists have experience working with women experiencing painful sex conditions, including vulvodynia and provoked vestibulodynia. We take a warm, clinically grounded approach that addresses both the physical and emotional dimensions of your experience, and we collaborate with medical providers when appropriate to ensure your care is coordinated and complete.

If painful sex has been affecting your life, your relationship, or your sense of yourself, we invite you to take the first step. Schedule a free 10-minute phone consultation today and let us help you find a path forward.