Can a Chicago Couples Therapist Really Save My Relationship?

Can a Chicago Couples Therapist Really Save My Relationship?

Many couples who come to therapy in Chicago ask themselves if therapy can actually turn things around or if it’s “too late.” 

While it’s not a couples therapist’s job to decide if a relationship is over, we can definitely help you determine your next steps, and guide you through a process of strengthening communication or repairing trust.

Remember, relationship struggles are common, not a sign of failure. 

In fact, many couples we work with in therapy are smart, independent people who love their partner and are feeling stuck trying to improve their relationship. 

A Chicago couples therapist can’t “magically” fix everything, but therapy provides proven tools to rebuild trust, intimacy, and communication. In this blog, we will explore what couples therapy is, how it works, and whether it can save your relationship.

What Does a Couples Therapist in Chicago Actually Do?

Couples therapy is a safe, structured space to explore challenges. A couples therapist will help track patterns, try to introduce new skills and create space to validate and challenge each partner.

Going to relationship therapy is different from individual therapy because the focus is on the relationship and not on one person entirely. Couples therapists often use evidence-based approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, and CBT to guide the process.

Can Couples Therapy Really Save a Relationship?

Saving a relationship does not just mean preventing a breakup, but fostering healthier connection. Therapy can be transformational for couples who are stuck in unhelpful patterns and unsure where or what to do next.

A great deal of success in therapy depends on each partners’ willingness to engage both inside and outside the therapy room. Therapists may give homework assignments or introduce skills for couples to practice outside of session. Couples who engage in their homework outside of session tend to experience more progress than those who do not.

Therapy can lead to stronger relationships or it may lead to a healthier decision to part ways.

Signs You and Your Partner Might Benefit from Seeing a Chicago Couples Therapist

You may benefit from relationship therapy if you and your partner are experiencing:

  • Constant fighting or silent distance

  • Lack of intimacy or sex

  • Betrayal or broken trust

  • Big life transitions (kids, career changes, moving)

  • Feeling more like roommates than partners

It’s important to remember that seeking help early prevents deeper rifts. Couples who are more proactive and go to therapy sooner generally experience greater progress than those who wait until the problem has festered for a long time.

What Happens in a Typical Couples Therapy Session?

The first few therapy sessions are usually focused on assessment and history. This is also an opportunity to decipher if your therapist is a good fit for you.

As you proceed in the work, you might work on practicing new communication skills, exploring emotional needs, repairing ruptures.

Remember, couples therapists are guides, not referees. They are not meant to be a judge and take sides. 

It’s also reasonable to expect homework between sessions. This helps couples stay accountable to their goals and work on improving outside of therapy.

It’s normal to feel some discomfort during therapy, especially early on. This is usually a sign of growth.

How to Choose the Right Chicago Couples Therapist for You

First, look for credentials for example a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and  Certified Sex Therapist if intimacy issues are central. Not all mental health therapists are trained to work with couples or to support clients with intimacy concerns, so it’s a wise idea to ask them about their training before getting started. 

Consider the provider’s specialization such as infidelity, sex therapy, parenting, trauma, or neurodivergence. 

Remember, finding a therapist that is a good fit is super important. Therapy is more effective when both partners feel comfortable. It might not feel super easy at first, but it will get better in time. 

Consider the practical features such as location (downtown vs suburbs), telehealth options, and insurance/fees. Many experienced couples therapists are out of network or do not take insurance, but they may provide you with a statement (a superbill) that you can submit to your health insurance provider for reimbursement. 

The Limitations of Couples Therapy

Therapy isn’t about “fixing” one partner, it’s about growing as a team. Most couples therapists consider the relationship as their client. 

Couples therapy won’t work if one partner is unwilling or dishonest. It’s also not recommended for partners who are actively involved in domestic violence or are experiencing ongoing trauma.

Therapy can take time. Some people will go for 10-20 sessions over the course of three to six months to really see a benefit. It’s best to talk with your therapist about how they approach therapy and what the expected duration will be.

Occasionally therapy leads partners to discover that ending their relationship is the healthiest decision. 

What Success in Couples Therapy Looks Like

Success in couples therapy will vary based on your specific goals. Common ways you’ll know therapy is working may include:

  • Better communication and conflict management

  • Renewed emotional and sexual intimacy

  • Stronger teamwork for shared goals

  • Feeling seen and understood, even if you don’t agree on everything

TLDR

Couples therapy isn’t a quick fix, but it offers real hope. Many partners feel tremendous relief even after the first session because they finally have a space to hold them accountable to their goals.

A Chicago couples therapist can guide you toward healing, growth, and clarity, whether that means saving your relationship or redefining it. You can choose what you want to work on in therapy and make the experience specific to your relationship.

If you’re interested in strengthening your relationship, reach out to a Chicago couples therapist at Embrace Sexual Wellness to explore how therapy can help. 

The 10 Sex Questions Everyone’s Googling in 2025 (And How to Actually Answer Them)

The 10 Sex Questions Everyone’s Googling in 2025 (And How to Actually Answer Them)

Sex in 2025 looks different than it did a decade ago. People are searching online for answers to questions they’re too embarrassed, or curious, to ask out loud. From libido struggles to fantasies that feel taboo, these are the sex questions everyone is Googling.

As relationship and sex therapists, we’ve seen how common these concerns are, and how much relief comes from getting clear, honest answers. Here’s the scoop on the 10 most-searched questions about sex and intimacy and how to actually address them.

1. How Do I Have Sex? (Yes, People Still Ask This)

It may seem basic, but “How to have sex?” continues to be the top-searched sex question in 2025. Many people, especially younger adults or those entering new relationships, want guidance on technique, communication, and comfort.

The answer: There’s no one “right” way. Start by focusing on consent, connection, and curiosity. Exploring your body and your partner’s preferences, discussing boundaries, and prioritizing pleasure over performance can make sex more enjoyable for everyone.

2. Why Do I Bleed After Sex?

Bleeding can be scary, and it’s a common reason people search online. Causes range from minor issues like vaginal dryness or minor irritation to medical conditions such as cervical polyps or infections.

The answer: Always rule out medical causes first with a healthcare provider. If no medical issue is found, a sex therapist can help you address emotional factors like anxiety, tension, or discomfort that may be contributing to painful sex.

3. Is Masturbation Normal?

Despite being one of the most natural sexual activities, masturbation still triggers guilt or curiosity.

The answer: Yes, masturbation is normal, healthy, and even beneficial. It helps you understand your body, relieve stress, and enhance sexual confidence. If it feels compulsive or interferes with daily life, a therapist can help you find balance.

4. What Is Autosexuality?

Autosexuality is a term for individuals who experience sexual attraction primarily to themselves. It emphasizes self-love, exploration, and pleasure.

The answer: Autosexuality is a valid orientation. Embracing it can improve self-esteem and intimacy. If you’re exploring this identity, a sex therapist provides a safe, judgment-free space for understanding your desires and boundaries.

5. How Long Should Sex REALLY Last?

Many people worry they’re “too fast” or “too slow” in bed.

The answer: There’s no magic number. Sexual satisfaction is about mutual enjoyment, not minutes on a timer. Communicate openly with your partner about preferences, and explore what brings both of you pleasure rather than focusing on duration.

6. Is It Normal to Experience Pain During Sex?

Painful sex, or dyspareunia, is more common than people think. It can stem from physical issues like infections, hormonal changes, or pelvic floor tension, as well as emotional stress or trauma.

The answer: Seek medical guidance first. Then, consider therapy to work through any emotional blocks or anxiety. Together, these approaches can help make sexual experiences comfortable and enjoyable again.

7. What Is “Shallowing” in Sexual Activity?

“Shallowing” refers to light stimulation at the vaginal opening without deep penetration. It’s popular for people exploring different forms of intimacy or prioritizing external stimulation.

The answer: Shallowing can be deeply pleasurable and is a valid form of sexual expression. Experimenting with different types of touch can expand intimacy and enjoyment.

8. Low Libido? How to Turn the Heat Back On

A drop in sexual desire is normal across the lifespan. Stress, hormones, life transitions, and relationship dynamics all play a role.

The answer: Boost libido by addressing physical health, emotional wellbeing, and relational connection. Communication with your partner is key. A Chicago sex therapist can help identify underlying factors and create practical strategies to reignite desire.

9. What Is Ethical Non-Monogamy?

More people are curious about consensual non-monogamy (CNM), polyamory, or open relationships—but fear the emotional complexity.

The answer: CNM can be fulfilling if approached intentionally. Clear boundaries, ongoing communication, and emotional honesty are essential. Therapy can guide couples through jealousy, compersion, and navigating multiple partnerships safely.

10. How Do I Talk to My Partner About Sexual Desires?

Many people fear judgment or rejection when discussing fantasies or desires.

The answer: Approach conversations with empathy and curiosity. Use “I” statements, focus on what excites you rather than demands, and prioritize listening. A therapist can provide strategies to make these discussions easier and more productive.

Why People Turn to a Chicago Sex Therapist

Curiosity alone isn’t a problem; it’s a doorway to better sexual health. Working with a sex therapist helps you:

  • Navigate awkward or uncomfortable questions.

  • Address performance anxiety, low libido, or intimacy gaps.

  • Explore fantasies and sexual identity safely.

  • Improve communication with partners.

  • Reduce shame and increase pleasure.

At Embrace Sexual Wellness we provide a safe, judgment-free space to answer these questions and guide you toward a more satisfying sexual life. Book your free consult here to get started!

TLDR

The questions people are Googling about sex in 2025 reveal curiosity, uncertainty, and a desire for connection. Whether it’s learning how to talk about fantasies, addressing painful sex, exploring CNM, or simply understanding masturbation and libido, getting clear, professional guidance can transform your sexual experiences.

You’re not alone in these questions and the answers are out there. Sometimes, the best way to get them is with a certified sex therapist who can provide personalized insight, support, and strategies for sexual and relational wellbeing.

What to Know Before Opening Up Your Relationship: A Guide to Consensual Non-Monogamy

Curiosity about consensual non-monogamy (CNM), sometimes called “open relationships,” “swinging,” or “polyamory” has grown significantly in recent years. Many couples ask themselves: Could this work for us?

As Chicago relationship and sex therapists, we often work with couples exploring CNM for the first time. Some are motivated by adventure, while others seek new ways to deepen honesty and intimacy. Opening a relationship requires intentional planning, self-reflection, and clear communication. Here’s what you should know, and how therapy can help.

What is Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM)?

Consensual non-monogamy refers to relationships in which all partners agree that romantic or sexual connections outside the primary partnership are allowed. Consensual non-monogamy can take many forms, each with its own set of dynamics, boundaries, and emotional considerations. Common types include:

  • Open Relationships: Partners maintain a primary emotional bond but may engage sexually with others outside the relationship.

  • Polyamory: Emotional or romantic relationships with multiple partners are permitted, with the consent of everyone involved. This can range from hierarchical structures (primary and secondary partners) to more egalitarian networks of relationships.

  • Swinging: Couples engage in sexual activities with others, often socially or in organized events, usually without forming romantic attachments.

  • Relationship Anarchy: Individuals form relationships based on personal preference rather than predefined labels or hierarchy. Agreements are flexible and based on mutual consent.

  • Solo Polyamory: Individuals have multiple romantic or sexual relationships without a primary partnership, prioritizing independence and autonomy.

  • Hierarchical vs. Non-Hierarchical Polyamory: Some polyamorous arrangements include a “primary” partnership with secondary relationships, while others treat all partners equally, depending on each couple’s values and needs.

  • Hybrid or Custom CNM Structures: Many couples develop personalized agreements that blend different CNM models to fit their unique needs, such as limited sexual exploration outside the relationship or emotional openness without sexual involvement.

Each type of CNM comes with different emotional and logistical considerations. Understanding which structure aligns with your values, comfort level, and relationship goals is a crucial first step.

Why Couples Explore CNM

People explore CNM for different reasons: to expand sexual experiences, test personal or relational boundaries, or increase honesty and intimacy in the relationship. Each couple’s agreements and structure may be unique, so understanding your motivations before starting is crucial.

Key Considerations Before Opening Your Relationship

Understanding Your Motivations

Ask yourselves why you want to explore CNM. Are you looking to:

  • Explore sexual variety?

  • Deepen emotional intimacy?

  • Challenge personal or relational limits?

Being clear about your intentions can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings later.

Preparing for Jealousy and Emotional Responses

Jealousy is common, even in consensual non-monogamy. Anticipating and discussing it before it arises makes it more manageable. Consider:

  • What triggers feelings of insecurity?

  • How do you typically respond to jealousy?

  • What support do you need from your partner when jealous feelings arise?

Cultivating Compersion

Compersion, feeling joy when your partner experiences pleasure with someone else, is a skill that can grow with practice. Start by noticing moments when your partner enjoys intimacy with others and consciously acknowledging those moments without judgment.

Communication Strategies for Open Relationships

Clear, ongoing communication is essential. Topics to discuss include:

  • Boundaries: What is allowed and what isn’t?

  • Frequency: How often will external relationships occur?

  • Disclosure: How much will you share about outside partners?

  • Safe sex: How will you protect yourself and each other?

Setting Agreements

Every CNM relationship benefits from clear boundaries. Some examples:

  • Only engaging sexually while using barrier methods.

  • Not introducing external partners to your home or children.

  • Limits on time spent with other partners.

These agreements create structure and safety, not restrictions. They are flexible and can evolve with time.

Who Consensual Non-Monogamy May Not Be For

While CNM can be fulfilling for some couples, it’s not a solution for every relationship. Certain circumstances or personality traits may make non-monogamy more challenging or even harmful. CNM may not be a good fit if:

  • You have unresolved trust issues: If trust is fragile or past betrayals haven’t been processed, adding external partners can intensify anxiety and conflict.

  • You struggle with jealousy management: Feeling intense or frequent jealousy without the tools to process it can create distress rather than growth.

  • You or your partner are exploring CNM as a “fix”: Using non-monogamy to solve ongoing relationship problems, like low desire, poor communication, or emotional distance, usually leads to disappointment rather than resolution.

  • You have incompatible values: If one partner is opposed to CNM or has strong beliefs that make participation emotionally unsafe, it can undermine the relationship.

  • You’re not ready for ongoing communication: CNM requires continuous, honest conversations about boundaries, desires, and emotional responses. Without willingness to engage in these discussions, the experience can be destabilizing.

A sex and relationship therapist can help you explore whether CNM aligns with your values, readiness, and relationship goals. At Embrace Sexual Wellness, we provide guidance to ensure that couples make informed, intentional choices about opening their relationship.

How a Sex Therapist Can Help Before Opening Up

Clarifying Intentions and Goals

A therapist can help each partner explore their motivations, values, and expectations for CNM, ensuring that the choice aligns with both individual and relational goals.

Preparing for Emotional Challenges

Therapy provides tools to anticipate and manage jealousy, anxiety, or unexpected emotional responses that may arise in non-monogamous arrangements.

Improving Communication Skills

Couples learn strategies for expressing needs, negotiating boundaries, and discussing feelings in ways that promote trust and intimacy rather than conflict.

Providing a Safe, Neutral Space

CNM conversations can bring up intense emotions. A relationship therapist offers a neutral, supportive space to explore desires, fears, and boundaries without judgment.

Practical Steps to Start Exploring CNM

Self-Reflection Exercises

Take time individually to explore your comfort levels, emotional triggers, and desires. Journaling or therapy sessions can provide clarity.

Setting Clear Agreements with Your Partner

Write down boundaries, rules, and expectations together. Revisit them regularly as feelings and needs change.

Starting Small and Low-Risk

Begin with low-risk experiences, such as discussing fantasies or attending social events without sexual involvement, before diving into sexual encounters.

Regular Check-Ins and Adjustments

Frequent check-ins allow each partner to express feelings, renegotiate boundaries, and make adjustments to agreements as necessary.

Recommended Resources

Educating yourself through books, podcasts, and communities can help normalize experiences and provide guidance:

Common Questions About CNM

Is Jealousy a Sign CNM Isn’t Right for Me?

Not necessarily. Jealousy is a natural emotion. What matters is whether you can process it constructively, discuss it openly, and support each other through it.

How Can I Practice Compersion?

Start small. Notice your partner’s joy with others and acknowledge it without judgment. With practice, this can grow into genuine feelings of happiness for your partner’s experiences.

What If My Partner Wants CNM but I Don’t?

Differing desires are common. Therapy can help explore feelings, negotiate boundaries, and determine whether CNM is compatible with your relationship.

TLDR

Consensual non-monogamy can be fulfilling for some couples, but it requires preparation, self-awareness, and communication. Working with a sex therapist can provide guidance through jealousy, compersion, boundaries, and emotional challenges, ensuring that your relationship remains strong and connected.

If you and your partner are considering CNM or are navigating challenges in an open relationship, therapy at Embrace Sexual Wellness offers a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore desires, set boundaries, and build emotional resilience.