Tips for Supporting Your LGBTQIA+ Children

Happy Pride Month! To kick off June, we’re building off a previous article about supporting your child when they come out as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. Supporting a child when they come out is vital to building trust and support between you but just as important, if not more important, is the ensuing ongoing support on a quotidian basis. This will naturally look somewhat different from family to family, identity to identity, age to age, and so on, but the general principles of honesty, support, and love apply to every circumstance. 

A few basic tips include 

  • Be willing to suspend your preconceived notions of gender and sexuality

  • Be prepared to be confused and sometimes overwhelmed

  • Be willing to be a learner and not a teacher

  • Be open to asking questions rather than making assumptions

In addition to these tips, a major way you can support an LGBTQIA+ child is by doing your research if you haven’t already. There is an abundance of readily accessible educational materials available online so while this blog post will mention a few, it is by no means an exhaustive list of useful resources. It’s important to not only understand your child’s personal experience, but also the societal structures and the gender binary as a whole in order to fully understand how your child fits into the world around them. Once you feel more familiar with the concept, you can start helping your child to understand it and themselves more fully. It’s understandable to be overwhelmed; if you aren’t already familiar with these ideas, they can be a lot to process. Throughout this process, pay attention to your feelings and make sure you’re practicing adequate self-care in order to sustainably support your child long term. 

Gender Identity

The following resources are excerpted from a resource page related to a zine about the gender binary. You can find the full list here. Embrace Sexual Wellness also has its own resource page here.

Sexuality

If you’re struggling to process all this new information, consider joining a support group like those run by PFLAG. You can find your local chapter here. Also consider looking into whether or not you have a local independently run LGBTQIA+ support and wellness center. 

Beyond educating yourself and your child about their identity, tangible ways you can support your LGBTQIA+ child are to get involved in local activism for LGBTQIA+ rights, support their autonomous self-expression, and love them no matter what. Activism can involve volunteering at a local LGBTQIA+ support center, volunteering with a national organization like PFLAG or the Trevor Project, patronizing LGBTQIA+ businesses, or any other way that suits your lifestyle. To support your child’s right to self-expression, avoid trying to control what they wear (unless it’s a matter of safety or appropriateness), respect their boundaries, give them opportunities to socialize with other LGBTQIA+ peers if possible, and support their continued self-reflection and growth. Finally, the core part of your approach should be to lead with love; in a world that constantly invalidates LGBTQIA+ people, LGBTQIA+ children deserve to feel supported and loved within their immediate circle. That starts with you. 

You’re off to a great start seeking advice from a trusted source like this blog. While the advice inherently cannot be one size fits all, ongoing communication about your youth’s specific needs will allow you to tailor it to your life. This is why it’s vital to keep the lines of communication open, lead with love and non-judgment, and make your child feel safe so they can trust you with their needs. You won’t get everything right on the first try and that’s okay. Your best is enough and as long as you’re trying, that’s all anyone can ask of you. 

Mental Health Round-Up: Resources for Healing

Though May is coming to a close, that doesn’t mean nurturing your mental health stops there! We have compiled a resource round-up for ongoing mental health care. This is just a sampling of the vast array of resources available but we hope it serves as a useful starting point!

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General

Crisis Hotlines 


Apps & Websites for Wellness

  • Insight Timer

    • Free website and app offering guided meditations, meditative music, mental health related talks, and more mental wellness resources. 

  • Headspace

    • Subscription-based website and app (with free trial option) to learn meditation from the basics and up. Meditation categories include sleep, stress, and mindfulness.

  • Calm

    • Subscription-based app (with free trial option) primarily focused on sleep and relaxation meditations. However, it includes video lessons for movement, nature scenes and sounds, guided meditation, sleep meditation, and more. 

  • 10% Happier: Meditation

    • Subscription-based app (with free trial option) offering guided meditations. They have an affiliated book, podcast, and newsletter

  • Happify

    • Website and app focused on improving your “happiness score” which is based on a survey users take when starting out. Its activities and games work to change your perspective through “happiness science” to improve your outlook.

  • MoodMission

    • An app “for dealing with stress, low moods, and anxiety.” It is catered to remedying feelings of depression and anxiety through developing healthier coping mechanisms. 

  • Woebot

    • Built around the idea of “radical accessibility” which they define as “accessible in every sense of the word. It means being able to access support no matter the house, and whether you have a diagnosis, or a prescription, or not.” Woebot uses scientifically based therapeutic research to code an AI capable of providing therapeutic support. 

  • Sanvello

    • App and website offering self-care, peer support, coaching, and therapy resources. It is based around principles of cognitive behavioral therapy to effectively address mental health concerns. It is a pay-based service but it is covered under many insurance plans, according to their website.

Books | Synopses excerpted from GoodReads

  • My Therapist Told Me To Journal by Holly Chisholm 

    • “Keep anxiety and depression in check with tons of totally doable mental health tips and techniques included here. You'll find some silly things, some serious things, some resources and exercises—oh, and a whole page of STICKERS to use throughout your journal.” 

  • You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell

    • “Written by Daniel Howell, in conjunction with a qualified psychologist, in an entertaining and personal way from the perspective of someone who has been through it all—this no-nonsense book gives you the tools to understand your mind so you can be in control and really live. Split into three chapters for each stage of the journey: This Night - how to get through your toughest moments and be prepared to face anything. / Tomorrow - small steps to change your thoughts and actions with a big impact on your life. / The Days After - help to look after yourself in the long term and not just survive, but thrive.”

  • Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who’s Been There by Tara Schuster

    • “This is the book Tara wished someone had given her and it is the book many of us desperately need: a candid, hysterical, addictively readable, practical guide to growing up (no matter where you are in life) and learning to love yourself in a non-throw-up-in-your-mouth-it’s-so-cheesy way.”

  • The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

    • “Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies.”

  • The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

    • “In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown, PhD, a leading expert on shame, authenticity and belonging, shares what she's learned from a decade of research on the power of Wholehearted Living--a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.In her ten guideposts, Brown engages our minds, hearts, and spirits as she explores how we can cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough, and to go to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am sometimes afraid, but I am also brave. And, yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable, but that doesn't change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.”

  • The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

    • “The Body Is Not an Apology offers radical self-love as the balm to heal the wounds inflicted by these violent systems. World-renowned activist and poet Sonya Renee Taylor invites us to reconnect with the radical origins of our minds and bodies and celebrate our collective, enduring strength. As we awaken to our own indoctrinated body shame, we feel inspired to awaken others and to interrupt the systems that perpetuate body shame and oppression against all bodies. When we act from this truth on a global scale, we usher in the transformative opportunity of radical self-love, which is the opportunity for a more just, equitable, and compassionate world--for us all.”

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Directories to Find a Therapist

  • Find Inclusive Therapists, Counselors, Mental Health Care Near You

    • Inclusive Therapists is a therapist directory that focuses on centering the needs of Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) and the LGBTQIA2S+ community. They advocate for equality and accessibility. 

  • Therapy For Black Girls

    • Keeping the societal stigma around mental illness that many Black women face in mind, Therapy for Black Girls caters to the needs and concerns that are specific to Black women.

  • Open Path Collective: Affordable Counseling | Affordable Therapy 

    • Open Path Psychotherapy Collective is a non-profit nationwide network of mental health professionals dedicated to providing in-office and online mental health care—at a steeply reduced rate—to individuals, couples, children, and families in need.

Everyone needs different care for various needs and luckily, there is no shortage of options out there. All of the resources listed here are trusted, scientifically-based options that value privacy and effective care. Though not all of them will work for every individual, many offer trial options if applicable so you can figure out what works best for you. Remember to take care of yourself this month and every month! 

Mental Health Round-Up: Instagram Accounts to Follow

Happy mental health month from all of us at Embrace Sexual Wellness! To celebrate, we compiled a selection of mental health and psychotherapy focused Instagram accounts for you to explore. Self-care is an integral part of overall wellness and that includes making sure your social media feeds are full of posts that make you feel good.

We hope these accounts will help you do just that: 

Source: Total Shape totalshape.com

Source: Total Shape totalshape.com

This is just a sampling of the thousands of accounts talking about mental health. There are many more specific resources for particular mental illnesses and therapeutic approaches out there. Social media at the end of the day should serve us, not drain us; adding accounts that offer practical advice for nurturing mental health is part of curating that experience. Remember to take care of yourself this Mental Health May and every month.

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