4 Important Subjects Netflix’s Sex Education Aced in Season Two

If you’re a sex nerd like me, you have undoubtedly been watching Sex Education, which just released its second season on Netflix. If you haven’t seen it, get to it! It’s a smart, charming series surrounding Otis Milburn, a teenager at an English high school, who uses the wisdom passed on from his sex therapist mother to help his classmates with a variety of sexual topics, in exchange for a small fee. As you can guess, it’s not always that simple and Otis must come to terms with his own sex life and all that comes with it. 

Season Two has featured many great, unheralded sexual topics through its cast of characters. These are the four topics I’m totally pumped they covered this season.

*Warning, spoilers ahead*

1. Sexual Trauma Episode Three

Aimee, the caring but often naïve classmate of Otis is riding the bus to school as she always does when a stranger publicly masturbates and ejaculates on her pants, causing her to get off the crowded bus. Thinking of it nothing more than an annoying way to ruin a great pair of jeans, her friend, Maeve, urges her to go to the police station and file a report. Once Aimee realizes that the situation she experienced was sexual assault, her attitude begins to change and symptoms of sexual trauma emerge. Aimee becomes terrified of the bus, repelled by physical touch, even with her partner, and confides in her friends for help.

With the prevalence of sexual assault affecting over 80% of women in their lifetime, talking about sexual trauma is more important than ever. It is also common for survivors of sexual trauma to experience physical symptoms such as difficulty sleeping, feeling disconnected from one’s body, loss of control, as well as increased depression and anxiety. Young women are particularly at risk, with current estimates indicating that 1 in 5 college-aged women will experience sexual harassment on campus. While the reality of these statistics is stark, it is important that survivors of sexual trauma can get connected with the care and resources they need. To learn more about how to support survivors, checkout the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline, and a local hotline. 

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2. Asexuality Episode Four

Florence, the a-bit-out-there star of the school production of Romeo and Juliet begins receiving pressure from her classmates to try to sleep with Jackson, the heart throb college bound jock turned thespian co-star. It is then that Florence realizes that she doesn’t just not want to have sex with Jackson, she doesn’t want to have sex with anyone. When she describes her feelings as “surrounded by a huge feast of everything I’ve wanted to eat, but I’m not hungry.” Dr. Milburn explains the concept of asexuality.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that refers to a person who does not experience sexual attraction. We are so glad that Sex Education is increasing the visibility of asexuality, particularly because asexuality can be misunderstood and underrepresented in media. People who identify as asexual may also experience romantic or sensual attraction. Sexuality exists on a continuum and there are nuances to what each individual may experience. To learn more about asexuality and the ACE community, checkout The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), the world’s largest online community providing wonderful resources on asexuality. 

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3. Douching Episode Six

When Anwar, the snobby but sexually vulnerable classmate of Otis, begins exploring anal sex with his boyfriend for the first time, he becomes anxious when he questions the cleanliness of his anus. He makes up an excuse to not proceed with the encounter, then asks Otis if he knows anything about how to douche.

Douching is the practice of cleansing and washing the body, in particular the genitals. The word douche, in French, means to shower -- a natural translation. Most commonly, people discuss the practice of vaginal or rectal or anal douching. Anal douching is commonly practiced to eliminate bacteria in the anus, which makes some people feel more comfortable before engaging in anal sex. Some experts warn against anal douching due to the possibility of injury and because certain cleansing agents can interfere with the electrolytes in the body by removing healthy intestinal flora that otherwise promote healthy gut health. If you are going to douche, make sure to educate yourself on the risks and engage in safety practices.

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4. Vaginismus Episode Eight

Finally, in the season finale, Ola and Lily have finally begun exploring their feelings for each other and attempt digital penetration. It is then when Lily reveals to Ola that she suffers from vaginismus, which makes her vagina “like a venus fly trap.”

‘Closing up like a venus fly trap’ may not be the best clinical description of vaginismus, but for some, the spasm-like response resonates. Vaginismus is defined as the recurrent or persistent involuntary contractions (spasm) of vaginal muscles that generally results in distress and pain during sex, specifically with any type of vaginal penetration. Sexuality education, pelvic floor physical therapy, and sex therapy can be effective treatment options for vaginismus. Vaginal dilators, which were also showcased in the episode, are often incorporated during pelvic floor physical therapy to help strengthen vaginal elasticity. While not thrilled that Lily was experiencing physical discomfort during sex, I am pleased to see that vaginismus is being brought to the forefront.

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I  love a show that normalizes very, well, normal sexual issues, behaviors, disorders and methods and brings them into the consciousness of the open public. Sex Education is not only funny, entertaining, sweet but also very accurate and important toward breaking sexual stigmas and learning how to talk about topics that affect us all. Way to go Netflix!

The SHE DID IT Podcast ft. Jennifer Litner on Hookup Culture + Sexual Wellness

Our founder, Jennifer Litner was recently featured on the SHE DID IT podcast where she was interviewed about sex, relationships, and hook-up culture. Here’s what you can expect to learn about in the episode:

  • Jennifer’s journey into the Sexology field

  • The biggest issues Millennials face with sex education

  • How we can improve communication in casual dating relationships

  • How parents can better educate their kids on sex and sexual health

  • All about hookup culture and why people are afraid to commit

  • Opportunities to enhance your sexual wellness, and MORE.

Comment below and let us know what you were most excited to learn about!

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Give Yourself the Gift of Self Compassion This Holiday Season

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In case you haven’t heard Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and his friends spinning tunes on the radio or seen the decked out evergreen firs around town yet, the holiday season is upon us. While the holidays are often a time when people are encouraged to spread joy and be generous to others, the intense pressure of “giving enough” and showing up for our families can really amount for a lousy holiday if we forget about our own self-care. Here are a few tips to help you toast to a healthy holiday season!

  1. It is perfectly okay if you don’t feel like being joyful this time of year. Maybe the holiday season reminds you of a painful event in your life or you don't have any family nearby to celebrate with — there’s no reason you should have to take a ride on the holly jolly trolly if you aren’t feeling up to it. Instead, spend some time nourishing you and doing something cathartic like reading a book, meeting a friend for coffee, going ice skating or watching a new movie.

  2. If you are purchasing holiday gifts, stick to a budget that makes sense for you and do not spend more than you can afford. Spending extra now when you truly cannot afford it may lead to resentment and financial hardship later. Consider giving the gift of your time, a heartfelt card or experiences that can be financed over time like concert tickets. By following a strict budget for holiday shopping, you can walk into the new year feeling more financially stable and confident!

  3. Holiday travel can be hectic. If you are traveling this holiday season — be gentle to yourself and come prepared with calming essentials. Calming essentials are go-to items that will help you stay calm and bring you peace amidst chaotic circumstances. Not sure where to start? Now is the time to start packing. Some recommendations may include: your water bottle, tea or hot chocolate mix, positively energizing tunes, essential oils, hand salve/lotion, a cozy scarf or blanket, a favorite photo album (electronic may be best for traveling), a you-approved selection of podcasts/audiobooks/books, and don’t forget your favorite snacks!

  4. Prioritize YOU-time. So often, we are expected to show up to holiday parties to socialize and be “on” which can be draining, even for extroverts. If you have a lot of social events that you anticipate will zap your energy, take some time to plan lots of YOU-time before and afterwards to recharge and recover. While it may sound trivial to schedule YOU-time, you will thank yourself later and be glad you did. When we push ourselves too hard while running on empty, we are more prone to experience stress. Take the time this holiday season to get the rest you need and take care of you. That way, you’ll be more fun to be around later when you rejoin the group!

  5. Know what would be absolutely perfection this holiday seasons? Letting go of perfection. It is far too easy to get caught up in a holiday headspace that is populated by Pinterest, but it’s less easy to actually create in real life. Instead of trying to make your holiday table look exactly like the one you pinned and have been admiring for weeks, try to focus on one element that feels special for you. Maybe making your grandmother’s recipe or hanging an heirloom ornament on the tree is really important or perhaps spending time with family or going to the movies is your thing. Instead of focusing on ‘having it all’, try to consider which aspect will bring you the most meaning and aim to make that one thing possible. Remember #managingexpectations makes for a better-than-perfect holiday!

No matter where you find yourself this holiday season, remember to give yourself the gift of self-compassion - YOU deserve it!

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