Sex can be a tricky and uncomfortable conversation topic for many people, especially when it comes to talking with young people. At the end of the day, the vast majority of young people will be curious about sex at some point; it’s far preferable for them to be equipped with accurate information about safer sex, boundary setting, and consent despite the associated discomfort. Furthermore, the only way anyone, adults and young people alike, can mitigate that discomfort and the taboo around sex is to open up these conversations. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of and unfortunately, in the United States, it’s often perceived as dirty and inappropriate. The reality is that it’s a fun and normal part of being human.
A foundational part of talking about sex, like any complex subject, is to familiarize yourself with relevant terminology. Talking about sex with young people doesn’t mean you should go around talking to toddlers about explicit sex acts but there is a way to introduce the topic in a gradual, age-appropriate way that builds on itself. Starting to introduce proper terms like “penis,” “vulva,” “vagina,” “clitoris,” “buttocks,” and “nipples” even before a child is verbal is a great starting point. Though introducing these terms may feel uncomfortable, at the end of the day they’re simply names for body parts that everyone should get used to using.
As kids get a little older, it is vital to help them get acquainted with the concepts of consent and boundaries, both within and outside a sexual context. Kids must be taught that no one has a right to their body and they have every right to say no to being touched in any way. This also works the other way, kids must be taught to respect other people’s consent and boundaries.
It’s important to keep in mind that these days, as children are introduced to the internet earlier and earlier, they are more prone to being prematurely exposed to explicit content. This will inevitably prompt natural curiosity that the adults in their lives need to be prepared to address.
As a young person gets closer to the onset of puberty, this is the a time to start discussing bodily changes, menstruation, and masturbation. There are plenty of books that cover these topics extensively that can be beneficial to both the child and adult in question.
Ultimately, regular conversations with young people about sex and adjacent topics is a good way to ensure they’re equipped with the necessary information to make good decisions about their bodies and their sex lives (if and when they choose to have one).
Having these conversations can certainly be daunting. That’s where we come in! Embrace Sexual Wellness has a program specifically aimed at helping parents and other caregivers be sex-positve role models for the children in their lives. To learn more about how you can start to feel prepared and empowered for these conversations, check out this link.
