Navigating Open Relationships: Real Talk on Jealousy, Boundaries & the Role of Sex Therapy

Navigating Open Relationships: Real Talk on Jealousy, Boundaries & the Role of Sex Therapy

For some couples, opening a relationship can feel exciting—a chance to explore, connect, and grow. For others, it’s terrifying, confusing, or full of unexpected emotional landmines. And for many, it’s both.

If you’re considering—or already navigating—non-monogamy, know this: it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed. There’s no one-size-fits-all rulebook for open relationships. But with the right support, tools, and intentional communication, it can work—beautifully.

At Embrace Sexual Wellness, we work with people across the spectrum of relationship structures. Whether you're just starting to talk about polyamory, or you're in a multi-partner dynamic trying to make sense of your emotions, we’re here to help.

“Why am I jealous if I agreed to this?”

Let’s talk about the big one: jealousy. It’s probably the most common emotion people struggle with in open relationships, and for good reason. You're human.

You might feel fine theoretically about your partner dating someone else—until they come home glowing from a date, or you see a flirty text on their phone. Suddenly you're spiraling.

That doesn’t mean non-monogamy is wrong for you. It means there’s something deeper to explore.

A sex therapist can help you unpack:

• What your jealousy is trying to tell you (often it's about fear of abandonment, not envy itself)

• How to differentiate productive jealousy from destructive stories

• Ways to self-soothe and communicate your feelings without blame

As one client put it, “I thought I wasn’t cut out for polyamory because I got so jealous. Turns out, I just hadn’t learned how to deal with it yet.”

Boundaries Are Not Just Rules—They’re Acts of Care

In our practice, we hear it a lot:

“We said we were open, but then one of us got hurt because we never defined what that really meant.”

Consent and boundaries are ongoing conversations—not a one-time checklist.

Here are some common boundary questions we work through in sessions:

• Are sleepovers okay?

• Can you date people we’re both friends with?

• Do we share every detail of outside connections—or protect each other’s emotional bandwidth?

• What happens if one of us starts developing serious feelings?

Having a therapist facilitate these conversations can help you move past vague ideas like “just be respectful” and get into concrete agreements that reflect both of your needs.

We integrate Chicago couples therapy with sex therapy to create space for both the emotional and erotic parts of these boundaries.

"I Want This, But I’m Afraid They’ll Leave Me"

Opening up a relationship doesn’t always start on equal footing. Sometimes, one partner initiates while the other agrees—partly out of love, partly out of fear.

In therapy, we explore:

• How to make sure both partners feel agency—not pressure

• What true consent looks like in open relationship dynamics

• How to check in regularly and renegotiate if something no longer feels okay

We often remind clients: your relationship can be open and still deeply committed. And it’s okay if what felt good three months ago doesn’t work anymore. Flexibility is part of the process.

Real Talk: It's Not Always Sexy

People often assume open relationships are all about more sex and freedom. Sometimes they are. But they’re also about calendar logistics, emotional check-ins, and doing hard internal work.

One client told us, “Honestly, the most intense part of being open isn’t dating other people—it’s confronting parts of myself I used to avoid.”

That’s the work sex therapy supports. It's not about “fixing” you—it's about helping you show up for yourself and your relationships with more clarity, confidence, and compassion.

How Sex Therapy Can Support You

Whether you're monogamous, exploring, or deeply embedded in a poly network, sex therapy gives you a space to:

• Talk about fears without judgment

• Make room for all the parts of your identity—sexual, emotional, relational

• Learn tools to communicate more clearly, especially around difficult topics

At Embrace Sexual Wellness, our therapists are LGBTQ+ affirming, kink-aware, and experienced in consensual non-monogamy. We get that your relationship may not look like everyone else's—and we think that’s a strength, not a flaw.

Ready to Talk?

Opening up a relationship doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re ready to explore what’s possible. You deserve support that honors your truth.

👉 Book a free consultation with a Chicago sex therapist who gets it. Let’s talk about where you are—and where you want to go.

How Mental Health Impacts Sexual Function: Understanding the Connection and Seeking Support

Mental health plays a crucial role in every aspect of our well-being, and sexual health is no exception. Whether it's stress, anxiety, depression, or trauma, mental health issues can significantly affect sexual function, leading to difficulties in intimacy, arousal, desire, and overall relationship satisfaction. At Embrace Sexual Wellness in Chicago, we understand the complex connection between mental health and sexual function. In this blog, we will explore how mental health impacts sexual health, why it's essential to address both aspects in therapy, and how working with a professional can help restore sexual well-being and improve relationships.

The Connection Between Mental Health and Sexual Function

Sexual function is a multifaceted aspect of life that includes physical, emotional, and psychological components. When mental health is compromised, these components can be disrupted, leading to various sexual difficulties. Below are some of the ways mental health conditions can influence sexual function:

Depression and Sexual Health

Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions affecting sexual function. Research indicates that individuals dealing with depression often experience a decrease in libido, reduced sexual desire, and difficulty achieving arousal or orgasm. According to a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, depression is a significant contributor to sexual dysfunction, especially in women. It is thought that depressive symptoms, such as fatigue, low energy, and feelings of hopelessness, can reduce a person's interest in sexual activity and lead to an overall lack of sexual satisfaction.

Furthermore, some medications used to treat depression, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), can contribute to sexual side effects like reduced desire and difficulty reaching orgasm. Therefore, it is essential for individuals dealing with depression to work closely with a mental health professional to address both emotional well-being and sexual health simultaneously.

Anxiety and Sexual Function

Anxiety disorders can also significantly impact sexual function. People suffering from anxiety often experience high levels of stress, worry, and fear, which can interfere with sexual desire and performance. Anxiety can cause physical symptoms such as muscle tension, rapid heart rate, and difficulty relaxing, making it harder to engage in intimate activities. Additionally, performance anxiety—fearing sexual failure or rejection—can lead to erectile dysfunction (ED) or a lack of arousal.

According to a 2021 systematic review, anxiety is strongly associated with sexual dysfunction, especially among men. The research suggests that anxiety can affect both psychological and physiological aspects of sexual performance, including the ability to get or maintain an erection.

Stress and Intimacy

Chronic stress is another mental health factor that can significantly influence sexual function. When we experience stress, our bodies release stress hormones like cortisol, which can negatively impact libido and sexual performance. High levels of stress can lead to hormonal imbalances that affect sexual arousal and desire. Moreover, when individuals are overwhelmed by life’s pressures—whether related to work, relationships, or financial challenges—they may find it difficult to relax and enjoy intimate moments with their partners.

A 2022 study found that stress can contribute to both physical and emotional symptoms of sexual dysfunction, such as erectile dysfunction and reduced sexual desire. This highlights the importance of addressing stress in the context of therapy to maintain a healthy sexual relationship.

Trauma and Sexual Function

Traumatic experiences, especially those related to sexual violence or abuse, can have a lasting impact on sexual function and intimate relationships. Trauma can cause emotional numbness, flashbacks, and difficulty feeling safe or trusting a partner, which can directly affect one's ability to engage in sexual activity. Survivors of trauma may also experience sexual dysfunction, including low desire, pain during intercourse, or difficulty achieving orgasm.

Research indicates that individuals with a history of trauma, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), may face significant sexual difficulties. A 2015 study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that trauma survivors, especially women, often experience challenges such as reduced sexual desire, difficulty with sexual arousal, and avoidance of sexual intimacy. These sexual issues are often linked to the emotional and psychological effects of PTSD, which can interfere with sexual functioning and relationship satisfaction. Addressing these concerns in a therapeutic context is essential for improving sexual well-being and overall quality of life for trauma survivors.

The Importance of Addressing Mental Health and Sexual Health Together

Because mental health issues and sexual dysfunction are often interconnected, it is crucial to approach both aspects simultaneously. For many individuals, therapy that focuses solely on sexual health may not be enough if underlying psychological issues are not addressed. Likewise, treating mental health conditions without considering the impact on sexual well-being may leave a significant gap in overall healing and recovery.

How Therapy Can Help Improve Sexual Function

Therapy can provide a safe space for individuals and couples to explore the emotional and psychological factors that impact their sexual health. Here are a few therapeutic approaches that can help:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is an evidence-based approach that helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns that may contribute to mental health conditions and sexual dysfunction. By addressing irrational fears, self-doubt, and anxiety, CBT can improve both emotional well-being and sexual satisfaction. This therapy is often used to treat anxiety, depression, and stress, all of which can have a direct impact on sexual function.

Sex Therapy

Sex therapy specifically addresses sexual dysfunction by helping individuals or couples communicate openly about their desires, preferences, and challenges. A sex therapist can guide individuals in overcoming issues like low libido, performance anxiety, or trauma-related sexual dysfunction. For example, sensate focus therapy encourages couples to reconnect emotionally and physically by focusing on touch and intimacy rather than performance or orgasm.

Couples Counseling

Couples counseling helps partners navigate the challenges of managing mental health conditions together. When one or both partners are experiencing mental health struggles, it can lead to tension, miscommunication, and emotional distance. Counseling helps couples develop better communication skills, enhance emotional intimacy, and address sexual concerns together.

Seeking Support at Embrace Sexual Wellness

At Embrace Sexual Wellness, we offer compassionate sex therapy and couples counseling in Chicago to help individuals and couples address the complex connection between mental health and sexual function. Whether you're dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, or stress, our expert therapists are here to support you in improving both your emotional and sexual well-being.

If you or your partner are struggling with the impact of mental health on sexual function, don't hesitate to reach out to us for support. We offer personalized therapy sessions tailored to your unique needs, helping you strengthen your relationship and rediscover intimacy in a safe, non-judgmental space.

Ready to take the next step toward improving your sexual health and mental well-being? Contact Embrace Sexual Wellness today to schedule a consultation and start your journey toward a more fulfilling and connected relationship. Book an appointment with our team of experienced therapists in Chicago.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Your Relationship According to Sex and Relationship Therapists

How Do We Set Healthy Boundaries in Our Relationship?

Setting healthy boundaries is one of the most important aspects of maintaining a strong, respectful, and fulfilling relationship. Boundaries help ensure that both partners feel valued, respected, and understood. Whether in intimate relationships, friendships, or familial connections, boundaries are vital for personal well-being and relationship health. But how exactly do you set healthy boundaries in a relationship?

At Embrace Sexual Wellness in Chicago, we specialize in sex therapy and couples counseling that helps individuals and couples understand the importance of healthy boundaries, and how to establish them for mutual respect and emotional safety.

What Are Boundaries in a Relationship?

Boundaries are the emotional, mental, and physical limits that each person sets in a relationship. They define what behaviors are acceptable and what is not. Healthy boundaries allow individuals to maintain their sense of self while being in a relationship, ensuring that neither partner feels overwhelmed, drained, or disrespected.

In relationships, boundaries can be:

• Physical: These relate to personal space, touch, and sexual boundaries.

• Emotional: These pertain to protecting one’s emotions, such as expressing needs and feelings.

• Mental: These include opinions, values, and ideas.

• Time: Boundaries around how much time is spent with each other and apart.

• Material: Boundaries around money, possessions, and sharing resources.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Setting healthy boundaries can seem challenging at first, especially if you're new to the concept or have a history of weak boundaries. However, it is essential to communicate openly, with empathy and respect, to ensure both partners feel heard and understood. Here are some key steps to setting healthy boundaries in a relationship:

1. Communicate Clearly and Openly

The foundation of healthy boundaries is clear communication. Both partners must openly discuss their needs, desires, and limits. Be direct but gentle when expressing what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable. This ensures that both partners understand where the other stands and can adjust accordingly.

2. Respect Each Other’s Limits

Healthy boundaries require mutual respect. While it’s essential to express your own boundaries, it’s equally important to listen to your partner’s boundaries and honor them. This is vital for building trust and fostering a strong emotional connection.

3. Be Consistent

Once you establish boundaries, it’s important to maintain them. Consistency in enforcing boundaries shows that you respect yourself and your partner. If one person continually pushes or disregards boundaries, it may cause resentment or emotional harm.

4. Revisit Boundaries Regularly

Boundaries are not static. As relationships evolve, so do personal needs and limits. Regularly check in with your partner about how you’re feeling in the relationship and adjust boundaries if necessary. This can help you maintain a healthy balance and ensure that both individuals are still respected and heard.

5. Use “I” Statements

When setting boundaries, avoid placing blame or making your partner feel guilty. Instead, use “I” statements, such as “I feel overwhelmed when...” or “I need space when...”. This approach focuses on your feelings and needs, rather than accusing or criticizing your partner.

The Importance of Boundaries in Couples Counseling and Sex Therapy in Chicago

If you and your partner are struggling to set or maintain boundaries, couples counseling and sex therapy can provide valuable guidance. At Embrace Sexual Wellness, we offer couples counseling in Chicago to help partners communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and establish healthy boundaries that promote a stronger, more respectful connection.

Boundaries also play an important role in sex therapy. Healthy sexual boundaries are crucial for emotional and physical well-being, particularly in cases of mismatched sexual desire, trauma recovery, or intimacy challenges.

TLDR

Setting healthy boundaries in a relationship isn’t just about saying “no” – it’s about protecting your mental, emotional, and physical well-being, while also respecting your partner's needs and limits. Healthy boundaries create an environment of trust, emotional safety, and mutual respect, allowing relationships to thrive.

If you’re ready to explore how couples counseling in Chicago or sex therapy in Chicago can help you set healthy boundaries and build a stronger relationship, Embrace Sexual Wellness is here to support you. Reach out today to schedule a complimentary phone consultation and take the first step towards creating a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.