Sexuality Professionals Series: An Interview with Dr. Shemeka Thorpe

So, you want to learn more about the world of sexuality professionals. There is a vast variety of different routes within the world of sexuality-based careers. To get an idea of what the sexuality industry is really like, Embrace Sexual Wellness interviewed several sexuality professionals from different backgrounds. We will be sharing their wisdom and insight with you in a series of blog posts spotlighting each professional. Our first participant is Dr. Shemeka Thorpe (she/her), co-founder of The Minority Sex Report and Sex Researcher at the University of Kentucky.

Shemeka Thorpe, PhD is a sexuality researcher at the University of Kentucky. Her research focuses on the sexual well-being of Black women using sex-positive and intimate justice frameworks. She serves on the editorial board of the American Journal of Sexuality Education. Dr. Thorpe is the co-founder of the award-winning platform The Minority Sex Report, a platform created to provide representation in sexuality education primarily for Black and Native American women.

Sexuality research as a field originated with Dr. Alfred Kinsey at the Indiana University at Bloomington. In 1948, Kinsey published his groundbreaking — and controversial — "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male," which became a bestseller. "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female" was the even more controversial followup in 1953. Prior to this, the vast majority of formal research about human sexuality was scarce. The research that did exist was anecdotally based on patient-therapist interactions. Sex is such a quintessential and core aspect of human life and social interactions that it is necessary to explore its trends, changes, and variations from person to person. On a tangible level, sexuality research about reproductive health and adjacent topics informs the development of healthcare strategies, therapies, and other treatments.  

Sexuality researchers span a wide array of topics under the umbrella of human sexuality. For Dr. Thorpe, her main focus is the sexual wellbeing of Black women. To contextualize that further, a recent article she co-authored was entitled “Black Female Adolescents' Sexuality: Pleasure Expectancies, Sexual Guilt, & Age of Sexual Debut.” It “examined individual and familial influences on Black female adolescents’ sexual pleasure expectancies, sexual guilt, and age of sexual debut…” This type of research makes up the majority of her invaluable work on an underserved demographic. 

In addition to her research, she co-founded The Minority Sex Report. This business both educates and conducts consultations in order to facilitate better representation in sex education for people of color within an intersectional framework. 

What inspired you to pursue your career path? 
Most of the research on Black people focuses on prevention and operates from a deficit based model. I want to change the narrative of Black sexology by focusing on sexual well-being particularly of Black women. Who better to do that than myself, a Black woman?

How does your field differ from that of other sexuality professionals?
There are a lot of sex researchers and we are all in different fields like public health, counseling, social work, sociology, women and gender studies, and the like. We all come together to advance sex research, but examine our research questions through different lenses. 

What's the most misunderstood thing about what you do?
That I solely focus on pregnancy and STI prevention as a sexuality educator or HIV and STI prevention as a sex researcher. I believe in comprehensive sex positive sex education and my research is sex positive focusing on Black women's overall sexual well-being, not prevention. 

What is the most rewarding part of your career?
The most rewarding part is creating a space for Black women to discuss sexuality and sexual problems including sexual anxiety and sexual pain. Many women have expressed they wish they had this information when they were younger or that this is there first time talking about these tough topics because they don't have a safe space to talk about sex. 

What advice would you want to share with aspiring sexuality professionals?
There is always room for more sexuality professionals. Be yourself and find your niche.

If you had to describe your work in one sentence, what would you say?
Making research relevant.

Thank you to Dr. Thorpe for taking the time to share her perspective. We encourage you to find Dr. Thorpe on social media and her websites, linked below.

• Instagram: @drshemeka

• Facebook: Dr. Shemeka

• Website: drshemeka.com & theminoritysexreport.com 

Questioning Your Gender, Now What?

So, you read our last blog post about gender and sexuality and after some self-reflection, you’ve got questions. Or maybe you’ve had questions for a while and are feeling a bit lost. Either way, lucky for you, you’ve got questions and we’ve got answers! Gender is an extremely complex concept; because it’s so deeply ingrained in every aspect of Western society, it can be difficult to divest yourself from oppressive notions of gender that were forced on you. Questioning your gender and your place in a world structured around gender binaries is a scary prospect and it’s okay to feel uncertain or uncomfortable. 

At the end of the day, this journey is for you and you only, with the ultimate goal being you feeling comfortable in your own skin. You deserve happiness and gender euphoria. There is nothing wrong or broken about you. There is no right way to be a particular gender therefore you can never be wrong. 

If you’re struggling to get started, here are some points to consider:

• If you’re considering changing facets of your identity like your name or pronouns, a good way to see if they fit is by “piloting” them with a group of trusted friends or family. This way, you don’t need to commit to a public announcement before you’re sure of yourself. 

• It’s never too late to question and explore! 

• You don’t need to have dysphoria or a desire to transition in order to be transgender or non-binary.

• There’s no deadline for figuring yourself out. Give yourself the grace of time to figure things out. 

• You may never arrive at a final destination; navigating and understanding gender identity is a complex and lifelong process. 

• Don’t get caught up in a need for labels and codification. Though labels can certainly be comforting, they may also be limiting. 

• You will almost inevitably experience confusion at some point and that’s not your fault; when you pick apart the way gender structures society, you will begin to see that there are a lot of holes in the logic underlying it which makes rearing up against those expectations so confusing and difficult. 

• If it’s accessible to you, don’t go it alone. Whether that means seeing a gender therapist, finding support groups either online or in person, or just talking it out with a trusted individual, you deserve external support throughout this process. 

• Institutions that you may have been taught were created to help you like medicine and education have ingrained systemic transphobia. While there are certainly individuals within these institutions that may be genuinely accepting and helpful, this is likely not the case for the majority of people you interact within these contexts, particularly depending on your specific geography. 

• If you find yourself self-invalidating your gender questioning process because you don’t feel genderqueer/trans “enough” but you wish you were (insert gender identity), that is indicative of that identity fitting you. Wanting to be a certain gender is a “symptom,” for lack of a better word, of being that gender. 

• Additionally, questioning is a valid identity. You might not want to be a certain gender and that is also telling and legitimate. The beauty of questioning the gender binary is that there are no wrong answers, nor does there have to be an answer in the first place. Questioning as an identity is every bit as valid as any other label.  

At the end of the day, try to find the balance between honoring your gender identity and not becoming overcome by the intricacies of navigating gender. Gender is performance in its most basic form and there are ways to make that performance fun. We didn’t choose the gender binary that exists around us, but we can choose to make it work for each of us to the best of our ability by understanding what makes us feel liberated. 

Inspired by Adrian Ballou’s article, it is important to qualify that this article is being written from the perspective of a singular white genderqueer person which may influence the suggestions provided.

Understanding Gender and Sex

Gender and sex are far more complex than the binary categorizations presented to the majority of us in school. Gender and sex refer to, while tangentially related, two distinct concepts. 

Gender is a social construct used to organize society that dictates expectations based on gender roles. In this sense, gender as a socially constructed organizational tool is more so a performance and what we do rather than what we inherently are. Though the widely accepted genders are limited to male and female, gender is far more fluid and multifaceted than that. Gender identity is specifically how one feels they align within the social construct of gender. For some, their gender may align with their sex assigned at birth which is the label one is given at birth based on perceived biology and other factors; when these two identities match, that makes a person cisgender. For those whose gender identity and assigned sex at birth differs, they are transgender. 

The term “assigned sex at birth” differs from, for instance, “biological sex,” because it acknowledges that the gender expectation was placed upon a newborn without their input and instead solely focuses on observable biological characteristics. This is a faulty method, however, because it fails to account for intersex people who don’t exactly align with the biological expectations of women, nor men. Furthermore, as evidenced by the existence of transgender people, one’s assigned sex and therefore, assigned gender role, is not always correct with how an individual internally feels. 

KEY TERMS

• Gender: Broadly speaking, gender refers to the socially constructed characteristics of women and men – such as norms, roles and relationships of and between groups of women and men. It varies from society to society and can be changed. When individuals or groups do not “fit” established gender norms they often face stigma, discriminatory practices or social exclusion – all of which adversely affect health.” Furthermore, on an individual level, West and Zimmerman’s “Doing Gender” delineates the idea that each person performs gender based on socially agreed gender expectations. Importantly, this idea focuses on gender as a psychologically trained set of behaviors, rather than innate qualities. 

• Assigned Sex: Label (typically “male” or “female”) that one is given at birth based on one’s biology

• Gender Role: Social role encompassing behaviors considered appropriate for an individual based on their perceived sex.

• Gender Expression: Notably distinct from gender identity, gender expression is how one presents themselves through clothing, hair, makeup, or any other visible characteristic. Though it typically aligns with one’s internal understanding of gender identity, it does not necessarily need to. 

• Transgender: A person whose gender does not align with the label ascribed to their assigned sex at birth.

• Cisgender: A person whose gender aligns with their label ascribed to their assigned sex at birth.

• Non-Binary: A person who does not identify with either binary gender.

• Cissexism/cisgenderism: A system that presumes that people fall into one of two categories of gender, male and female. This system privileges those who subscribe to it and conform to it (cisgender people), while oppressing those who do not (transgender people). 

• Transphobia: Negative thoughts and actions taken against those who are trans and those who are perceived as transgender. 

• Transnormativity: The ideology and expectation that trans people are tolerated only if they adhere to traditional gender roles, gender expression, heteronormativity, and overall respectability politics. Though all transgender people face discrimination, the closer one aligns with transnormativity, the more socially "acceptable" they are deemed. This is the phenomenology that undergirds cissexism. 

• Intersex: General term for a variety of circumstances in which a person is born with reproductive anatomy that does not fit within the delineated binary understanding of sex. 

• Pronouns: Pronouns are the words we use to refer to someone in place of using their name. Common pronouns are she/her, he/him, and they/them, the latter of which, when used singularly, is gender neutral. Though these are the most frequently used, there are additional gender neutral pronouns such as ze/hir (pronounced “zee” and “here,” respectively). Pronouns often align with one’s gender identity, but pronouns do not equal gender and therefore knowing someone’s gender does not necessarily indicate their pronouns, and vice versa. Using the correct pronouns is a part of basic respect. 

BECOME A PRONOUN PRO

• How should I ask someone’s pronouns? 

  • A great way to go about this is by introducing yourself and your pronouns first. For instance, you could say something like, “Hi, my name is (name) and I use she/her pronouns. What are your pronouns, if you’re comfortable sharing?” 

• What if I need to refer to someone whose pronouns I don’t know?

  • Generally speaking, using the gender neutral they/them is acceptable in these instances, until you learn their correct pronouns. You should never assume someone’s pronouns based on your perception of them. 

• What if I make a mistake?

  • That’s okay! You’re still learning and as long as you’re trying, no one can fault you for that. It’s natural to make mistakes. In response, do not make a big deal of it; simply apologize and thank the person who corrected you and move on. Making a bigger deal out of it can inadvertently burden the person you misgendered with your guilt. 

• What are some gender neutral alternatives to gendered language such as “guys”? 

  • Instead of “guys,” try “y’all,” “folks,” or “friends.” 

  • Instead of “brother/sister,” try “siblings.” 

  • Instead of “niece/nephew,” try “nibling.” 

  • Instead of “ma’am/sir,” try “Mx.” (pronounced “mix”).

This is merely an introduction to some key concepts surrounding gender and sex. Below you’ll find resources for further learning. 

• A Simple Way to Understand the Origin of Gender Roles 

• Alice Dreger: Is anatomy destiny? | TED Talk

• Here's Why the Gender Binary Hurts Us All

• If We Want Equality, Then We Must Stop Perpetuating Gender Roles

• The Past, Present and Future of Gender Norms

• The Danger of Gender The Danger of Gender Reveal Parties Parties 

• Explained: Difference between gender, gender expression 

• The Struggles of Rejecting the Gender Binary 

• Understanding Non-Binary People

• What Is Gender Expression?

• How Getting Dressed As A Non-Binary Individual Is A Political Act

• How to use neopronouns in sentences

• Inclusivity tips

• Map of Gender diverse Cultures

• More on Neopronouns

• You Could Never Misgender Me

• Sex vs. Gender

• Types of Gender Identities 

Since gender is something that affects us all, everyone, regardless of gender identity, deserves to understand the intricacies of the system that organizes society. Having a greater understanding of gender on a societal level allows us to understand ourselves better and how we each fit into the grand scheme of society. It also allows us to interact with one another in the most respectful way possible in order to validate each other’s identities.