Female Sexuality

Book Review

Review of Emily Nagoski’s book, Come As You Are

Come As You Are is an intelligent and creative read that is extremely relevant, comprehensive and a necessary contribution to the field of female sexuality. Emily Nagoski’s writing combines humor with a sex-positive tone to address the complexity of sexual desire and arousal for women in a way that is friendly, directive and resourceful.

Nagoski challenges popular societal conceptualizations about sexual arousal and desire while using science to explain why certain ideas are myths and offer alternative interpretations that honor individuals’ realities and experiences. Anecdotes from former clients are woven into the text to demonstrate how many people navigate these concerns throughout their sexual relationships, validating and normalizing the worries of many readers.

Nagoski introduces the framework, “Pleasure Is The Measure” as a guide for readers to understand their own positive sexual experiences and acknowledge the nuances of contexts that can interfere with sexual satisfaction and desire, both individually and relationally. Readers have the opportunity to complete worksheets, which are included throughout the chapters, to increase their understanding of how the content applies to their own experiences. The versatility of Come As You Are makes it a fantastic read for females and couples as well as clinicians working in the field of sexuality.